memoirs of a lil nappy headed gal....

back on the scene...

2010-06-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone,
I know it's been a while, but I am back on the scene. I'm completely immersed in life and things are happening so fast that I can barely keep up. So bear with me, please. What got me outta my funk? Well, I am helping this blog project for work, and I scolded myself for the awful neglect on THIS blog. So, I've lined up my half-baked posts that have jotted down in the past few months and will be delivering. I know some of the topics may be a little dated, but some of the issues are still on my mind. So, please feel free to give your $0.02, as always.

LOVE,
aYankha

inhaaaaaale and release...

2010-03-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

There is so much that I want to write about but after viewing E.BADU's Window Seat video AND Matt & Kim's Lessons Learned Video.... I feel so refreshed! Finally a video worth seeing and posting about...sorry Nicky Manaj et al. Gutsy...Artsy...Bold...I love both of them!

One more thing...Was I the only one that noticed that Erykah kept on her hair cap? Stripped of everything except her hair cap and rings. I'm not trying to be critical of the video, but I wonder if that was deliberate? I would love to hear if those things were left on on purpose or not. How much more interesting it would have been if her other crowning glory (the one on top of her head) was unveiled/released/exposed! I know the video supersedes race/ethnicity, but as a Black woman, full exposure would logically include presentation of the infinity/DNA-modeled coils. Just a thought and my little humble opinion.

hair hype...

2010-02-08T15:24:00.000-08:00

2/8/2010- I wrote this several months ago (in October) but I still wanted to post...Enjoy!

I know I've been a bad lil blogger, but life has thrown many curve balls these days. I am still here and working with what I've got, though. Seems like I've been talking my ish in many a convo and I just had to put up something in response to all the media hype about Black women's hair these days. So here we go:

As a Black woman hair blogger—among varied and sundry interests-- the past couple of weeks have been pretty gag inducing and well…disappointing. The blogs, television shows, and all other media have been all over Black women and their hair. Tyra, Oprah, Chris Rock, all the gossip blogs, and news channels have seized an opportunity to wax poetic about the state of Black women and their hair. So what's so bad about that, you may be asking. Well, what has me so miffed about this coverage of Black hair is that there seems to be an incomplete story and lack an overall message. And if there is some message that can be derived in certain instances, they seem to cater to well-worn, surface notions about Black women's relationship with their hair and present a narrow aspect of Black hair. Over the past few weeks, I’ve had a chance to view coverage that has concerned me.

Let me highlight some of the things I've seen:
Tyra- Expectations...MET. They were (and are) pretty low to begin with, and she met the mark. Yes, she did go sans-weave, but why come out with wet, permy hair? WTF was that about? Then she whines over her hair being cut a few silly inches, really WTF? Then she lets audience members feel for tracks, umm? Then she gets her hair styled on set, umm really? And a large segment is devoted to giving guests "real hair makeovers", but not one guest has that original "snap back" (you know the real nappy) that is not altered to makeover. So essentially, the show was about not wearing weave. Which in and of itself is not a bad thing but it seems to be off the mark when tackling the good/bad hair thing and self-appreciation. Where were the women who couldn’t remember their natural hair texture? Even staying with the sans-weave theme, where were the perpetual braid wearers (think Brandy, hell even myself in college)? Furthermore, Ty Ty may want to re-think the chemicals because her hair quality did look rather poor. I know I'm not the only one who noticed split ends, wispy strands, and thinning. When she is ready to do a real makeover on herself, maybe then I would watch that piece of a show.
Update 2/2010- The show has been canceled recently.

Oprah- Dang, O, you could have styled your real hair for the show with Chris Rock, the one show you decide to reveal it. One part of the show that I was actually in agreement with her was when she made a good point of noting Rock's intentions of basically outing sista's hair issues, but why not push it further. Could it be that that show was intended as a tutorial for her "core audience"? Which leaves me questioning what the intent of the entire show was. At one point, Rock mentions that the purpose of a relaxer was more so to relax White folks. Soooo, is this a rally cry for Black women to abandon relaxers or is this observance pointing out that Black women still wear relaxers to appease Whites? In reference to Solo (aka Solange), SOME people did say some dirty, sideways comments about your short natural, but most of the comments I read surrounded female entertainers (Solo in this instance) doing a big chop for ATTENTION, not necessarily for the look. Well, you got it (attention that is), but please don't make it seem like it was ALL about you rocking a natural. Unfortunately (and fortunately), people regard you as Bey’s lil sis and typically when big sisters get lots of attention for one thing or another, there is a perception that lil sisters will seek out attention as well (re: Marsha v Jan Brady). If you wanna really take it there, why not interview without the texturizer (or the grease & water) look?

One observation I made about BOTH Tyra & Oprah shows is that neither broached the topic of natural hair! There was no guest spot, no informational, nor any commentary about natural Black hair. In fact, Rock joked about O’s cute little plaits when she was a young girl and her afro as a young adult… and that was it.

Good Hair Movie- Where do I even begin with this one? This is what really sparked this post. I was sitting on the “GOOD HAIR” post for quite some time now and I figured why not put it out there. This is a tricky one because I've been having an internal conflict about supporting this film. I want to see it because it talks about Black hair and a concept that almost every Black girl has been knowledgeable about... "good & bad" hair. HOWEVER, based on the ads, interviews, and previews, I'm not sure what it actually accomplishes if anything. When I first heard that Black hair would be discussed in any form or fashion in the mainstream, I was excited. Then, as the ads started to air, I’ve come to question what this movie is really about. I’ve yet to see a natural haired woman in the ads, with the exception the image of Angela Davis turning into Naomi Campbell, and even then, it had a slight negative connotation to it. Is this movie explaining (or dare I say re-enforcing) the notion of good hair? I know Chris Rock’s shtick is based on satirizing deep issues, but is a message lost within all the joking? There are many questions that I am curious about regarding this movie, but I will reserve them for the sake of not pre-judging it (on this blog at least). Rest assured, I will be doing a follow up when (or if) I get around to seeing it. My fear is that the movie is made for cheap laughs at Black women’s expense.

Update: How ironic is it that a Black women (Regina Kimbell) is suing Chris Rock for swagger jacking her previous movie "My Nappy Roots: A Journey Through Black Hair-itage ". I bet you, this movie had a more comprehensive view of Black hair, perhaps because it was made by an actual Black woman (big up to EcoSoul for highlighting that aspect).

Another Update: Saw Good Hair... still wondering about intentions. The good things: I guess it wanted to promote Blacks going into their own manufacturing of hair products. The questionable things: Where was the coverage of natural hair? Why not visit the Baltimore Black Hair Expo? Why not go to natural hair salons?

I must say this: This is the very reason that I love the NATURAL Black Hair blogosphere. We are speaking to a subject that many people do not want (or refuse) to face. I am far from a natural hair zealot (though I can respect some folks who get down like that), but in this recent wave of mainstream media coverage of Black hair, there is a huge misrepresentation of Black hair and certainly NO representation of natural Black hair. These events have renewed my commitment to talking about natural hair and all the experiences (positive and otherwise) that have come along with it. And for that, I’m thankful.

good good riddance 2009...

2010-02-08T14:38:00.000-08:00

Hey all! I am still here despite having taken somewhat of a sabbatical from the blog. I gotta finish my degree and needed time to focus. With that said, 2009 was a year I will certainly not forget and am all too glad to enter into a new decade.

As for my hair, like I said last time, not much has changed- okay maybe a few inches. I am seriously thinking about cutting my bangs. I was scheduled to do so, but completely forgot. But I really want something new for the new year. So who knows. For now I'm just loving what hair I do have. I didn't know that I'd get to this point, but I often forget that I even have locks. People randomly pass by and offer a very warm, nice compliment of my hair and over 4 yrs later it still surprises me that people like my hair enough to say something to me about it. In fact, I've met some really nice folks in the last month with a convo that started with hair.

There are a couple of topics I have in mind to discuss so, buckle up. They may not be too long, but there has been a lot on my mind.

@ the movies...

2009-12-15T09:24:00.000-08:00

I've been away for a while, not really having too much to say about my hair (it's still growing) or garden (it's winter in the NE and we did not plant cold weather plants), but I have been to the movies to see Precious. I wrote a post right after I saw it and never posted it (until now, I guess), but I was inspired this morning by a post on Concreteloop, a blog devoted to Black celeb stuff. One thing I've appreciated about this blog is that it prides itself on quality, but I was taken aback by a recent post featuring a skit from the movie Precious. So what I'm posting here is parts of my original post and comment that I left on the CL site. Please join the convo if you want.

Original Post-
I am somewhat of a movie junkie/critic and perhaps an aspiring filmmaker-something I have not shared much here. But in the past few weeks I have been to the movies a few times. I love going to the movies because it is an event, especially when you go to a predominantly Black theater. I've seen & experienced so many rich situations at these theaters. One of the earliest memories is watching Friday in South Central L.A., only blocks from where it was actually filmed. The crowd supplied the perfect ad libs and made it exponentially funnier (or maybe because I was young, I thought it was hilarious...hmm). It felt like a community coming together and sharing one big laugh. Another memory even comes from being in the DC area and seeing a family coming out of a show, with a 3 year old with a sponge bob rolling suitcase, containing what I was certain was a full course meal. There is nothing like the smell of chicken and greens in the theater. No it's not shameful given that I pay $10.50 for a ticket (the $9 student rate is not avail fris & sats), $6 for a small stale popcorn (which has loads of cal according to this), and $4.50 for a diet soda. So I'm not hating on those with kids that get creative.Besides, don't act like you've never snuck in candies or water in your purse.

But nothing prepared me for watching Precious. Nothing at all.

I'd been really excited to see the movie Precious...even more than Good Hair (which is a whole other blog). As for the movie itself, I was not disappointed at all! It told a great story with superb acting. Yeah, some of the elements didn't make a load of sense and I wanted some other areas to be explored, but all in all, it is one of the best, if not the best, movies I've seen in 2009. With that said, what do I have to complain about... the audience! During critical parts of the movies, that were clearly serious and even gut-wrenching, the audience laughed. Yes, they laughed. When someone was expressing their hurt, they laughed some more. I'm not talking about a laugh to keep from crying type of laugh. I mean, it was a undignified LOL moment. Towards the end, amidst hot steaming tears, I fought back the incredible urge to stand up and berate the audience for finding some semblance of levity in particular scenes. Trying to keep me calm and composed, Sogent grabbed and ushered me to the car where I had a WTF moment/breakdown. Through tears of sadness for the many Precious' of the world (some I even know personally), I spewed disgust for those people in the audience who walked away from it like it was some sort of comedy. I hadn't realized I was so angry/disappointed until I hashed it out in the car through screams and tears. It was a sad movie and a sad reality. So I am awake now, re-thinking that moment and how I should have said something or maybe not. Would I have gotten through to them? Would anything I had to say make a difference? IDK. I am just sitting here disgusted, confused, and overall sad for those people in the world who could laugh at something so sad. Is that what we've come to? And before anyone asks, nearly everyone in that screening was young and BLACK. Do I think this is all Blacks that respond this way, HELL NO, or even predominantly Black theaters, of course not. I am just saying that this happened to me at this one screening and here I am trying to make sense out of it. Even writing this post, I am fighting back tears.

What was once a positive experience of going to the movies experiencing something with my people, has turned into a nightmare that I could have never imagined.

I'm not sure if this post was just to vent or what, but I felt compelled to get this off my chest. (((SIGH))).

Well, that was a few weeks ago. And I saw this post yesterday. If you have little patience, a summary of the video is one guy playing the momma and another playing Precious. After all sorts of dancing and yelling, they roll some outtakes. Admittedly, I did not watch them through, I was too disgusted by then. Well, I was curious about the comments, and saw that 90% thought the skit was hilarious. And for some that didn't agree, they were attacked by other commenters. Further, the stars/producers of the skit commented as well:"Nearly 95% of our viewers enjoyed the video. That is what love to do put smiles on people faces. With this skit we had people screaming at computer screen in laughter. For the others, sorry we didn’t make you laugh. But the next time I hope we will. People think that Precious is based on a true story. Its not. That is why some people didn’t find it funny. On the show we have discussed the serious manner of the movie but this time we decided to have fun with it. People wanna give essays on why we shouldn’t have made it but come on, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE LAUGH AT THE COLOR PURPLE JOKES. MOST RECENTLY WITH RIHANNA VS BEYONCE." So I weighed in, and thought I'd post what I wrote here. Again, what are my intentions? IDK, but I would love to hear what you all think or if you could explain this comedy to me? If you saw the movie, did people have similar reactions?

My comment on CL
Marsha P & Nat- Thanks for posting exactly how I felt about this "skit", in spite of the 90% that adored this post. I concur with your sentiments and I have a GREAT sense of humor. Bottom line, this was in no way funny. I was one of those people who sat in a theater of young folks (aka my peers in age only) and was DISGUSTED!!!! This is the same reaction they had during integral parts of the film. My significant other had to literally grab me from standing up towards the end and telling the audience about themselves. I wanted to post sooner, but other priorities needed my attention.

Reading the comments from this post, I am feeling the same anger and shame. Yes, shame because these people are forever linked to me (in age & perhaps ethnicity). Damn. In an attempt to not generalize and understand others' points-of-view, I ask what is so funny about this skit?!?! Two seemingly gay males, one yelling in a shrill and stereotypical sassy female voice while one performs dances akin to shucking and jiving, imitating a piece of art that was created to depict a cycle of abuse of black female children? Where is the comedy? What is so funny about that?

BTW- An argument of people laughing at Color Purple skits is in no way a good excuse to poke fun of this situation. I hope that's not the best defense you have of this.

I am an avid CL reader...even tickled by the slogan change from "You better act like you know" to "Quality not Quantity". I am not sure if you, Angela, met these guys and said that you would do them a solid by posting this video or if you genuinely liked it. Either way, this has made me think twice of the perception and subsequent respect I've had of CL.

Furthermore, the guys who made this make Black gay males look like a hot horrible mess. Even if you are not gay, this furthers the negative (and emasculating) perception many folks have towards Black gay males.

If this skit's sole purpose was to make people laugh, while the joke is on us, it's NOT funny. Study the art of illuminating circumstances and pushing Black folks forward from Chapelle, Rock, Magruder, etc. It is such a sad situation when people cannot appreciate such an expertly executed tragedy, especially one that is about and starring us. This is the problem with many movie goers of our community...they only want to laugh or see dramas. I am a huge supporter of cinema and comedy, and this skit was neither. And it pains me to think that some folks regard it as such.

I KNOW MANY WILL NOT READ THIS BECAUSE OF IT'S LENGTH, BUT FOR THOSE WHO DO, TRY NOT TO ATTACK WITH INANE, REACTIONARY COMMENTARY AND WITHOUT GIVING IT FULL CONSIDERATION.

***Update on 12/15/09- As of this afternoon, I see that my comment was DELETED and I'm not sure if I am forever banned from commenting. Dang. I am not convinced my comments were enough to warrant deletion. Oh well! My opinion of CL is really deteriorating.

hair in my dreams...

2009-08-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

I've been locked for over 3.5 years and in the last perhaps 2 years or so I've had these crazy dreams where my hair is either: a) long & loosely curled, b) very short curls, c) long locks (love these types), d) bald, or the craziest, like last night's dream d) me at a salon or myself combing/brushing out my locks
(image found here)

I've often wondered if these looks were me in a different life. In the types like a,b,c,d I can see how that may be the case. Me revisiting a different lifetime with another hairdo. How cool. But last night I dreamed that I went to a salon and let my old hair dresser (who is actually now deceased) comb out my hair. What was funnier is that my hair looked like it did when I got it blow-dried and all she used was a comb with no snags in the process. Ha Ha- definitely a dream, but bizarre nonetheless!

Admittedly, I sometimes daydream about passing a comb through my hair to get my scalp greased- by my Mama specifically. But these things are pretty fleeting. I've never wanted to really cut my SLs off. Sometimes I wish I could do more things with my hair. Like lately I've been wanting to cut it in different styles and perhaps dye it, but never get rid of my locks. What is going on here? If I were a psychoanalyst and heard someone say this, I would say something about subconscious desires or missing bonds. But alas I am not a PA nor would I say that these things ring true (for the most part). So what does this mean? Well in a search on the net, I found a site on dream interpretation and thought I should share. I think I've gotten some insight on my recent dreams after reading the section below. But I still want to pose a few Qs to you: Have any of you ever had hair dreams? What are they about and what do you make of it?

Hair

To see hair in your dream, signifies sexual virility, seduction, sensuality, vanity, and health. It is indicative of your attitudes. If your hair is knotted or tangled, then it is symbolic of uncertainty and confusion in your life. You may be unable to think straight.

To dream that you are cutting your hair, suggests that you are experiencing a loss in strength. You may feel that someone is trying to censor you. Alternatively, you may be reshaping your thinking or ambitions and eliminating unwanted thoughts/habits.

To dream that you are combing, stroking or styling your hair, suggests that you are taking on and evaluating a new idea, concept, outlook, or way of thinking. You may be putting your thoughts in order and getting your facts straight. A more literal interpretation suggests your concerns about your self-image and appearance.

To dream that you have long hair, indicates that you are thinking long and carefully before making some decision. You are concentrating on some plan or situation.

To dream that you are losing your hair, denotes that you are concerned with the notion that you are getting older and losing your sex appeal/virility. You are preoccupied with aging and your appearance. Losing you hair also signify a lack of strength and that you do not possess the power to succeed in an undertaking. You may be feeling weak and vulnerable.

To dream that someone is smelling your hair, indicates sexual curiosity and your need for some sensual stimulation. You have a lot to learn about a relationship. The way yours or someone else's hair smell may remind your of a particular person.

To dream that you are reaching for someone's hair, suggests that you are trying to connect with that person on a spiritual or intellectual level. It also refers to sympathy, protectiveness, and fraternal love.

To dream that the wind is blowing through your hair, signifies freedom to express uninhibited feelings. You are "letting your hair down".

To dream that your hair is white or turns white, indicates that something important has just been made aware to you. It is a symbol of wisdom and insight. The dream may also be a metaphor suggesting that you are feeling "light-headed".

Haircut

To dream that someone is giving you a haircut, suggests that you are experiencing a decreased sense of power. You may feel that you were criticized unfairly.

Hairdresser

To dream that you are a hairdresser, suggests that you are imposing your ideas and opinions on others. Perhaps you need to work on your self-image and improve on your image. Alternatively, it refers to your attitude toward your own sexuality.

To dream that you are at the hairdresser, you are looking to change your attitude. You are ready for change and moving in a different attention.

Hairpiece

To dream that you are wearing a hairpiece, indicates some sort of deception. You may be giving off a false impression and passing the views of others as your own.

To dream that you lose your hairpiece, suggests that you are beginning to lose your mind or that you may be giving someone a piece of your mind. The dream may also be a pun on losing your "peace" of mind.

double consciousness on display...

2009-08-19T20:55:00.001-07:00

If a picture is worth 1000 words, then this video is at least worth 2000 words...and 5000 laughs.

national real hair day, hmmm...

2009-08-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I'm just not going to get my hopes up too high about this?

"This season on The Tyra Show we're taking it to the next level and getting more real than ever before by encouraging women everywhere to own and rock what they've got and be proud! For the Season 5 premiere, I will be doing just that - no fake hair, I'm rocking my REAL hair. This will all be going down on September 8, 2009, which we're declaring National Real Hair Day! We welcome everyone to go natural with me!"

I've seen this story 3 times today and each time I've had had a variety of emotions to it. Let me attempt to explain my tug-of-emotion:

YAY to encouraging women to "work what they've got". Self-esteem is gravely important in a young woman's life all around. I love that this message is on TV.

CONFUSION in her rocking her "real" hair (and inviting others to "go natural"). Will she be sans perm? Not the untra-neat cornrows, I'm talking about a showcase of the original "snap-back". Don't forget her sporting those very cornrows on the Good Hair, Bad Hair TBS episode. Maybe she's been wearing a wig to grow out her perm?!?! But not be too disappointed I will say "real" and "natural" will take on a very broad meaning.

WOAH to actually declaring a national holiday to real hair. Is this a real attempt to encourage women's self-esteem or to make natural hair the next half-shaven head fad? It puts me in the mind of MLK holiday celebrating MLK's legacy of promoting tolerance and peace VERSUS being grateful to have a day off of school/work. I guess either way is okay, provided that the message of self-acceptance and self-love is not lost.

So I guess her ads did the trick, I will set my VCR that day to see what happens.

BTW- I hope in addition to the new season that calls for shorter women (under 5'7") there will be a model that is allowed to keep her nappy crown or better yet with some type of loc. That would be so dope! There is definitely no shortage, just take a look at that I love my locks mag!

beautiful mag...

2009-08-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

Naturally Sophia shared this magazine in this post and I thought I'd pass it along. It's a FREE, downloadable magazine put together by Kitty Soulflower. It contains stories/bios and phenomenal pics of locked women, queens, goddesses, and a host of other titles. I cannot even begin to tell you just how refreshing it is to see and read the bios/pics of these LOVELY women. Big up to all the women appearing in this mag. I think it is so cool to feature women who are beautiful and loc'd- something that is rarely seen in current mainstream media. To all reading this, you must check it out! *Maybe in the next volume some SLers can be featured in a bio.

retightening...

2009-08-08T00:42:00.000-07:00

I am in the middle of retightening my hair and I was trying to explain to Sogent how I feel during this process.

It is like being stranded in the desert - you may know where you're going, but you really don't know when you're going to be outta there.

(Hmmm...Maybe I'm just thirsty)

weight a minute v2...

2009-07-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

Beyonce is fat? WTF?
I got into a small debate with someone a few months back about Beyoncé being fat or not.

Really, my conversations are not that shallow: At the time I was in the "data collection" phase in research on Black women & exercise (my general research area is obesity). Within this discussion, size came up, of course. In the midst of me trying to explain the difference between "thick" & "fat", I said an ideal example of what is considered "thick" is a shape like Beyonce's, but even then she may fall on the "skinny-with-curves" side depending on what movie role she's doing at the time. I was explaining this to four mid-40ish women, 3 which were White and hadn't really known what she looked like. Beyoncé’s shape seemed like an ideal example given her popularity, but clearly I was mistaken. The Black woman was very familiar with > Beyoncé and adamantly rejected my classification of Beyonce as thick. She actually proclaimed that she was...FAT! WTF! That was the first thing that popped into my mind. I had to consciously censor myself. I was in a professional environment so I went on to calmly disagree letting them know that she is a singer and dancer that stays on tour, was on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and probably wears clothes sizes ranging between a 2-6. Okay maybe an 8 pants, but that may be due to hips, which last time I checked was not a very bad thing. All this to say that, I don't think society has advanced to the level of featuring a "fat" woman in these avenues without branding her as "full-figured". In hindsight I should have mentioned that her latest videos featured her clad in a freaking leotard & high heels. Admittedly, that does not mean she couldn't be considered "fat", but all the parodies that have been done on the video have not come close to implying that she is in any way (shape or form) fat. And you know those folks can be pretty ruthless. Back to the story: the woman kept on saying that she was fat and was bigger than all those taking part in the conversation. I was puzzled because she included herself and this woman is definitely obese by BMI’s standards- very apparently larger than Beyoncé . I could not believe what my ears were hearing. After a short back and forth and my staunch refusals to believe her statements, she mentioned that she was not a Beyoncé fan…AHA, so the real opinion comes out. It was really never about her weight, she was being a hater. That was the end of that conversation, this was not a real debate.

I wouldn’t necessarily classify myself as a Beyoncé fan (though I like many of her songs and respect her hustle), but come on, give credit where it’s due. She has a good voice is a good dancer and has a nice shape. I visited a couple of websites (I refuse to name them), and saw that there are more people (mostly women) out there with this same sentiment of Beyoncé being fat. I had no idea how far the hateration for Beyoncé goes. This is the type of stuff that leads me to do the psychological work that I do. It fascinates me (and infuriates at times) how someone's perception of someone else's character can influence how they perceive their physical features. I could see the attractiveness judgment, but it's application to weight would seem like a more difficult task. This sentiment seems to be contrary to what a lot of research has espoused about Black women's acceptance of a larger frame.

For those that think she is fat, what does normal weight (for a Black woman specifically- if you think there is a difference between ideal White & Black figures) look like? I'm not trying to sway people to agree or sympathize with me, but I am curious to see if this is a sentiment that is widely shared. If anyone has more insight than my simple explanation of old fashioned hatin', please enlighten me.

weight a minute*...

2009-07-23T10:52:00.000-07:00

*I cannot fully take credit for this term. Commenter Amaitrejean in the ABC News article had it in the beginning of his or her comment and I was unsure if it was deliberate of not. In any case, I thought it was cute and oh so appropriate. So I had to use it and give credit where it was due. I would hate to be accused of "swagger jacking".

I’ve made other posts about weight that did not make the final cut for all eyes to see. But after I started writing about the Surgeon General nominee Regina Benjamin, I decided to throw in some other weight experiences I’ve had in the past few months.

So earlier, someone sent me this article which discusses opposing views on the appropriateness (geez, this word has been haunting me for the last week or so) of President Obama's Surgeon General nomination of Dr. Regina Benjamin of AL. Apparently, despite a long list of degrees, several awards, and unprecedented compassion in her medical practice, some people that think she is unfit (no pun intended) for the position because she is overweight/obese by the Body Mass Index standard. On the other hand, others feel that her weight is totally irrelevant and that this would probably help in her relating to what the average American goes through and may have more insight into what they need.

I could see how people have a point about receiving health information and guidelines from someone they are assuming does not follow them. However, the problem with this view is that they are a few assumptions: a) she is not trying to maintain a decent weight or b) she lives an unhealthy lifestyle or c) she doesn’t have any other condition (maybe hypothyroidism) that may influence her weight or d) her weight would influence her decisions for public health. Furthermore, according the Office of the Surgeon General, “The Surgeon General serves as America's chief health educator by providing Americans the best scientific information available on how to improve their health and reduce the risk of illness and injury.” So, she is an advocate for health that gives prescriptions based on science, not her weight or lifestyle.

I’m not trying to make an excuse for her or others in a similar position, but in the job description weight or any other appearance factors are not included. Yes, inherent in the position is that one be a role model of healthy living, but that does not prohibit her from looking into the science behind these studies and seeing if they work for the people. Moreover, she may be in a perfect position in knowing what works as well as an ideal public figure that can go through a journey of becoming healthier (if she is not currently). I admit that a message of health coming from someone who looked like her would throw me off initially, but if I saw the people who she has helped have good results, I would give her a try. I think America could give her a try. From what I’ve seen, she is the first SG that doesn’t have a military background since 1982. Maybe she can lend a refreshing view to things. So instead of looking at her appearance and making a judgment, let’s see what she can do. But even then, how relevant is her weight.

On the hair tip, I am now more willing to give a consultant without SLs a try if they have other clients with great results.

a great analysis...

2009-07-21T22:16:00.000-07:00

I was going to post something else, but I came across this vlog tonight and just had to share this with everyone. This by far is one of the best analysis of MJ (and the media) I've seen yet. One similar observation in most blogs is that MJ spread love all over the world (perhaps to his own detriment). As much as I don't care to prolong certain discussion, I felt like this was so great, that I had to share. I hope you all enjoy it like I surely did.

BTW- If you like hip hop or witty banter on a diverse range of topics, check out Jay Smooth and his other videos on youtube or illdoctrine.com.

remembering...

2009-07-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

I really didn't know what to write about the passing of MJ though I felt compelled to say something about him and his legacy. Somehow, I just could not think of what words would be best to honor (or discuss) a legend. Should I talk about young Mike, old Mike, accused molester Mike, the dancing (crotch grabbing) Mike, skin bleaching Mike, monkey loving Mike, race relater (did I make this word up?) Mike??? There were so many sides of him, as to us all, that we got to witness over the years, it is hard to figure out where to begin. Before I get into what I will discuss, I am obliged to say: He was one of the great artists of my time (if not, THE greatest) and I feel fortunate to have lived my entire life, grooving to his genius. I doubt that he can be topped, in this lifetime at least. Love ya MJ.

Now, to the nitty gritty: I will discuss………………………..his hair (of course). For very simple reasons I chose this topic: a) He has a really interesting hair story, b) I'm sure you all are tired of reading about my garden, c) I haven’t read any articles that have broached this topic, and d) I just want to. So here we go….

Though it was before my time, I remember seeing pictures of MJ as a youngin with one of the best afros ever. It was full and thick like mine would be after my mom would wash and comb my hair. There was no mistaking his social identity label (aka race). Why would this be so special? At that time (even present day) when Blackness has been perceived as inferior, he had the WORLD in awe. Everyone was mystified by this little Black boy with his Black brothers performing like nobody's business. On beat and singing like an angel (cuz you know angels are nothing but soul), lil Mike worked the stage. I’ve seen footage where he would cock that big ole fro back, feeling the beat of the song, and let out melodies and ad-libs like a grown man. The afro was part of his signature style and announced to the world that I am here, I’ve got something to say, and you’re gonna listen.

A few years and a nose job later, he traded in his afro for a jheri curl-ish, mullet-like, baby hair bumpin hair do. What the hell happened? I’m not sure what people thought of this look initially, but it was a change. Is this an example of “going hollywood”? Nevertheless, he was one of the 1st guys that curled their hair and made it cool for guys to wear their hair like that. I dunno, but somehow I think the nose and the hair correlate with each other and point to an over-arching issue. I'm not suggesting that he needed to be locked up shouting “militant” rhetoric (everyone’s path is different), but I wonder how his career would have turned out had he opted for ANY natural hairstyle. Would that impact the music he made or treatment he got? Just a thought.

Fast forward to suspect multiple surgeries, nearly translucent skin, and a full sew-on weave/wig straight from China with a slight bump at the bottom. Hmmm. He would go between the wet & wavy curls and this until the time of his passing. In fact, one article citing the autopsy reports that he in fact had a full wig on (I wonder what he looked like?). If asked, how could he explain that texture change? If only there was a disease that caused one’s hair to straighten, that’d be perfect. A complete transformation had taken place and from comedians and family conversations, the topic of his appearance was brought up in jest, awe, and disgust. Yeah, there were other things to talk about (selling albums, legal issues), but no one knew what to make of his look. Back to the hair specifically. At best, people were slightly (and I mean extremely slightly) relieved that he had gone to the straightened bob hair. Black folks know about men with straightened hair- Al Sharpton, Snoop Dogg, Katt Williams- so that was a little better. It is almost like his hair evolved to straight. You try to figure out the deep meaning behind this, but I think Quincy Jones didn’t misspeak when he recently pointed out some of MJ’s issues. [Second picture of what MJ would look like without modification from this site]

Looking deep down inside, I wonder if he was trying to make a literal statement or teach the world that it really didn’t “matter if you’re Black or White” (or any other color for that matter). Despite the changes in his appearance, everyone (for the most part) still respected him for all his talent. As perplexed as people were regarding his metamorphosis, we embraced him and his music. In fact, just a few days before his passing, Sogent and I dominated the juke box at the local bar’s happy hour with MJ hits. Get this, we were the only Black people in the entire bar yet EVERYONE danced, sang, and enjoyed the songs. From the Mediterranean owner to the local White residents, everyone knew the words (okay, the hooks really) and had a good time. It looked like it could be a scene right out of one of MJ’s videos. So, maybe MJ made it easier for us to connect with everyone despite appearances and even cultural differences…just one people who liked to have a good time.

Michael Joseph Jackson, Junior, you’ll be missed and never forgotten.

welcome to our garden...

2009-07-06T20:26:00.000-07:00

Admittedly, I've become obsessed with my garden and anything that grows from a little dirt and/or water. From this, I am now more aware of the life and energy that surrounds me and all of us. Look, I'm not really the type to "wax poetic" but this garden has introduced me to so many natural wonders of life. I know this blog is mainly about hair, but I felt compelled to share with you, my blog family, something that has brought me great joy, calm, pride, and love. Besides, I have one hair shot in there. I hope this post invokes positive vibes for the rest of your day. Click on THIS LINK to view (there is music on it).

something to do...

2009-07-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

The tedious, meaningless things in life can really get in the way of you doing those things that truly make you happy. From that statement, I guess you all can figure out that Ayankha has been one busy, stressed lady. I've written a a few posts in the last 3 months and could not settle on which to post. So why not do something fresh.

Along those lines, I also could not figure out what to do for July 4th. Now, I really don't make a big deal about holidays because usually I am thankful for not having to go to work or school and I am able to relax and re-center myself. But today, I felt compelled to do something a bit different than my usual relaxing off day. In the middle of all this indecision, I've come across a post that I thought could help me determine what I could do. My big sis has created this very very interesting blog... organic.intellectual! I've been visiting it and I found things to do on my holiday, besides reading the provocative, interesting articles. To summarize the post, it gives alternatives to July 4th celebrations. Now seemed to be the right time for a little change.

I've not been "home" on July 4th in quite some time, though, I still have fond memories of eating bar-be-que, popping fireworks then being told to stay close to the ground to avoid the gun shots fired in celebration later that night. I guess since Sogent & I are not around any children during this time, holidays have morphed into time off to just relax. Today, however, I wanted to do something. So I decided that I would try a few things on the post. I said a prayer to honor my lineage (#1: "Morning prayers that recognize your ancestral lineage."). It was not in the morning, but as soon as I decided to do something besides rest, it was done. The second thing I did (#14: "Strike a pleasant conversation with someone you do not know.") was accomplished by happenstance really. Every Saturday, I walk my dogs to the local flea market (which sells fresh produce as well) and check out the goods. When you've got dogs, conversation comes pretty easily, but usually I smile and continue my walk/and window(less) shopping. Well on this day, an older woman who was selling her wares came over to us and chatted for a about 20 mins. We mostly talked about dogs, but we exchanged names and I promised to visit her on Saturdays from now on. It was nothing special really, but it felt great to talk to someone different.

Another thing I did was #15: "Dance like there's no tomorrow". At the corner of the block, there is a home for the mentally disabled and every holiday they play loud music. It's so loud that we are able to hear it in our backyard. We really don't mind because they play a variety of good stuff. However, yesterday they had a Michael Jackson marathon sprinkled with various P-Funk selections. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh! While in the garden, I was able to jam. Maybe this is what has been helping the garden grow?!?! I love to dance, but not necessarily the type where there is a bunch of rules and you are always having to be conscious about how you look. I just like to move my body in ways I can express my feelings and the music vibrations. If it coordinates with others, great, but that is not my primary goal. The last "alternative"I did was eat chicken and waffles! This is in my top 3 meals of all time and I felt like it was paying homage to my ancestors that were born and died here. No one really knows exactly how this combination was started, but I know that it is often associated with Black American culture. Though I grew up in L.A., home of Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles, I did not eat there much. It wasn't until my first semester of college in Mississippi, that chicken & waffles became something of a mainstay. I would eat this or chicken (or catfish) & grits. This reminder of Mississippi, where my paternal lineage hails from, gave me feel a familiar comfort.

So there you have it, my 4th of July. But I don't think I'll stop there with some of those alternatives.

where do i begin...

2009-07-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

So much has happened since February 25th, I'm not sure where I begin. Not that my life is very interesting, but as time passes, things change. This semester was a challenge because I kept busy with teaching and research. At least from all that business I'm on to a new and exciting study. I will share details later.

Hair Update (Sorry, I've not taken any pics of myself lately). I finally broke down and went to a consultant and if you kept up with Brunsli's blog, you know how that turned out. No hard feelings, as I am back to doing it myself. I couldn't help but glance at 2 blogs that posted about "hair zillas" which made me question if I am that person. I then decided: maybe I am. Oh well if I am. I figure, there is little in life that I am persnickety about, one thing can be my hair. So to alleviate much crap, I will do it myself. So far so good, but as my time become engulfed with the rigors of work and school activities, I think I will turn to someone...soon. I will update you on that when (or if) it happens.

Lately I've been having these feelings of wanting to cut my hair. I think back to the times when my roller sets had extreme body and long for those styles. My hair still can get body, but it is not nearly as bouncy as it was. So I am in a med length funk right now. I think I will try to reclaim my bangs and see where we go from there.

Life & Love.
Sogent & I moved!!!! After 3 yrs, we moved into a place we both love. I suspect that Stormy & Nina like it but adjustment was in order for them both. Nina's behavior issues only got worse, until we moved her into the back porch. She is so much better behaved and we are so relieved that she has her own pad. It has been raining every single week since May, so our plans to eventually move her outdoors have been canceled. I just can't bare the thought of her outside. So I am so thankful that her porch spot is working out nicely.

Our biggest accomplishment yet: we started a garden!!! Before we even moved into the house, we did some serious yard work. I'm talking tilling the soil, laying down grass, testing soil pH, conditioning soil, planting seedlings, making a fence, etc. We went to work and it is paying off. Because of the hot weather and the constant rain, our plants have grown faster than the weeds. It is all organic (no pesticides). I go in and dig up every single weed by hand. I absolutely love it. We have every vegetable and fruit from eggplant to several varieties of watermelon. So, late July-August should be a great time. Our corn is by far our pride and joy. Two storms have knocked 2 on their sides and without ANY intervention from us, they picked themselves back up within 3 days! It was AMAZING. Their will to live was something out of a sci fi movie. Okay you can tell I am a first time gardener. The only thing that is really annoying about gardening so far is that some people I speak to about my garden (which is anyone who is willing to listen at this point) make the assumption that I am following in Michelle Obama's footsteps. While I've got great respect and admiration for our first lady, having my own garden was something I've ALWAYS wanted since I was a little girl dreaming about my house, husband, and kids. Besides we only looked at homes with yards that would be conducive to a sizable garden. So while the parallel is flattering, I just gotta say that it wasn't her that influenced me. Let's try my living in the South and the agriculturally minded folks that raised me. It is not some fly-by-night trend or hobby for me-it's a symbol of independence and freedom. But above all, I just freakin love it.

That's about all for now. More to share, more posts to come.

the dusty foot philosopher is back...

2009-02-25T20:08:00.000-08:00

Big up to K'Naan the Dusty Foot Philosopher! He is one of my favorite artists (Top 10). Remember I wrote about Sogent taking me to see him and Damian and Stephen Marley? Well, he just came out with a new album Troubadour, which I am all too excited to bump. For those who don't do the cable (or tv) thing: this year he's been featured on the BET Hip Hop Awards Cipher, and recently on MTV he's the featured artist. I'm so glad that he's been getting much more recognition.

I am feeling pretty good and thought I should share this song/video with yall. This is one of my favorite songs and he completely kills this beat. Enjoy!

some update...

2009-02-21T06:06:00.000-08:00

Hair tip-

I have some serious "new growth", but I am busier than ever this semester and what free time I have, I've decided to use it to sleep and blog. Yay. The consultant I was planning on going with is out of the picture. After not calling me back for the second time, I decided to not to go to her. However, I met a SLer (with gorgeous hair) on the subway and asked about her consultant, and bam, I have an appt with her next week. I am so anxious, but so far so great! She is very responsive & professional yet down to earth. I can't wait to meet her in person. I've been getting really good vibes about her...I think she's the one. lol. I will let you all know how things go next week.

Life-

Like I said earlier, things are so busy. Really, this is the worst semester ever- in terms of time. I am taking a course at another school (yay to the consortium). While that course is kicking my left butt cheek, the other at my school is kicking my right. Both courses have elements of cognitive psych and I can live without so much cognitive theory. Each week I look forward to Friday. However, on the weekend, I am still reading a good bit, but I work on other projects that I really love.

My little goblin is still trying to adjust to a new life of structure. I saw Marley & Me and she could give him a run for the money. Let's go through the list of misbehaviors:

1) They Nina & Stormy fight all day and night. I'm sure my neighbors are sick of hearing grrrr bark bark all the time. she is way too feisty.

2) She's an over eater. I feed her 3x day, but she manages to gobble her portions within 4 mins and challenge Stormy (my timid, friendly baby) for hers. On special days (usually Sundays), I feed them Beneful's prepared meals, which are actual meals with lamb, oats, peas, carrots. They go crazy over that stuff and I don't blame them (trust, the look & smell great). When they both wolfed down their portions, Nina went to Stormy's bowl and actually licked it clean!

3) She tears up everything! Her bed, any paper within her grasp, luggage, sweaters, training pads, toys, everything. Her oral fixation is unbelievable. It has calmed a little, but that's only because I've bought a lot of toys that I don't mind her ripping apart.

4)Her potty training is coming along slowly (but surely?). We typically take bathroom breaks about 6x a day and that still isn't enough. I often wonder if she gets some sort of enjoyment pooing in my shoes or in her wired home (cage doesn't seem to fit her home right). I thought dogs weren't supposed to like to do that, but she has no problem with pooing in there and then sleeping right next to it. She's a yucky one.

Stormy has been trying to show her the ropes, but she has a mind of her own.

Despite all the negatives, she is actually lovable: She like to cuddle at night, she loves to jog with me, she actually plays fetch (the 1st dog that I've played that with), she fearless, and quite spunky. She has definitely challenged my idea of what love is, but ironically, she is sooo lovable.

Travel-

I am currently in NYC (Sogent's on business) and we've chosen to stay at the legendary Algonquin. This is a boutique hotel that boasts serving famous late 19th century, early 20th century American writers and theatrical (The Barrymores, William Faulkner, Gertrude Stein, Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford). The interesting thing for me (what gets more interesting than these writers you ask) is Matilda the cat. They've kept a cat/mascot over the past couple of decades in the lobby. I read this tradition started because the manager found a stray cat strolling inside the lobby looking for food and shelter, so he took it in. I wonder how many humans he did that for? At any rate, I think it's cute and sad at the same time. The animal lover in me says aww and the human welfare advocate in me says WTF.

The true charm of the hotel is how it's built. Sure the rooms are a bit on the petite side (Sogent & I were originally placed in a 100 sq ft room with a full size bed), but the decorating is vintage fab juxtaposed with modern flat screen tvs & super comfy beds. The real scale tipper is the customer service. Easy and fast checkin, staff is very knowledgeable about the hotel, and are very helpful. The manager upgraded us to a super sweet suite with a king bed (yay) when we expressed discomfort in the small room. In fact, Sogent and I went to have a round last night on him! The only sort of downside is that we got quite a few jeers from the other patrons. I must mention that we were the only Blacks that were dining in the lounge. From the moment we walked down, there were quite a few eyes on us. We looked normal, had only smiled at that point (hey, we were getting free drinks), and took our seat. If there hadn't been pre-recorded jazz playing, the music might have stopped. One guy in particular, was particularly "intrigued" with us. Nonetheless, we enjoyed our beverages and talked. We had soo much fun. So far so great at this hotel. I think we may be back next time I have to come to NY (in 2 weeks).

my first SL gathering...

2009-02-21T05:37:00.000-08:00

Around the time of the inauguration, Sunsail told me about a gathering that was going down. So, I went and it was really nice. It was great to see so many SLers in one place and believe me when I say, all eyes were on us. In fact, as soon as I walked in, the workers said "You must be here with that hair group?". Ha. SLs were definitely representing. One brave guy actually came up and asked us about our "group".

Once everyone ate and fellowshipped, we went around the table telling our hairstories. Oh this part was especially fun. Some had similar carefree stories, some were brand new to SLs, and others had tragedies turned into triumphs. You could see how some stories (especially the tragic ones) affected everyone. It was almost like being in church, testifying to some experience- overcoming adversity whether it was social, personal, or physical. Along this note, one of the SLers busted her husband out by telling everyone he thought we might be a cult! You know we had fun with that sentiment and guy for the rest of the gathering.

All in all, it was great and I am looking forward to the next one.

PS- How good does Sunsail's hair look??? Color, volume, & sweet bump-You go girl!

a case for weave...

2009-02-21T05:30:00.000-08:00

I'm sure by now you all have heard about this one. I'm still in shock. I wonder how my thicket of SLs would hold up...then again, I really don't wanna find out...the hard way at least.

stop the track, let me state facts...

2009-02-17T00:21:00.000-08:00

I came across an interesting post on a black gossip blog (oh the shame- I will not mention which one in order to not give it more traffic) and in the post it made the claim that Beyonce's "new found" dance style in both of her newest videos is called "j-setting" (true) which comes from Black male gay culture (so false). If you are not familiar with Beyonce's dances, see below:

Get it Bey (though I care little for the lyrics, I just love a real performer). The article did try to characterize the style, but I will describe it as more of a follow-the-leader, shake-it-but-don't-break-it, you-got-served type of style. For an idea, see below:

Go head, Prancing J-Settes! What I actually dispute may be so obvious after seeing the second video, but I will spell it out: The video above is from the Jackson State University's Prancing J-Settes, whom have been doing these dances since the 1970's. Hence the name J-Setting. Many HBCU's have this form of dancing with the marching band. Now which one did it first is beyond me, but to call this new found style of dance j-setting without giveing JSU the credit is completely ripping off JSU. I can remember going to the games (and a few clubs) and seeing the same dances mimicked by the "gaysettes" (a name they called themselves). Some of them that I knew would hold special practices. Later I was told that someone would be assigned to watch the J-settes practice to see what the new moves were. I'm not trying to take anything away from the gay folk, but I felt compelled to let it be known where the term J-Setting really came from.

Why do I bring all this stuff up here...
As I read the post, I thought back to my years at JSU and really wanting to try out for the Prancing J-Settes- I could dance, I cheered in high school, I had a lot of school pride. The only thing that gave me great pause (aside from not being able to a perfect Chinese split) was that they all had long weave/hair. The two hair choices I would have had is to perm or get a full weave (as my sister did when she cheered in college). Pressing was definitely out of the question because of the sweating (Belive me, I had enough experience in middle & high school dances). This was one of the most memorable times my hair prevented me from doing something I wanted to do. I think now that I have SLs would I try out? Even now I don't think there are any natural hair women on the team. What is it with these weaves and such? Is it mandatory because them shaking their hair like Britney Spears is part of the act? I dunno.

I wonder if there has been a natural hair sister on the team? Until then, I guess my living room will have to suffice for my solo nappy-headed performances.

so what have I been up to...

2009-01-06T21:17:00.000-08:00

Our Newest Addition
This Christmas Sogent gave me one of the best presents ever:

Nina Sarafina (8wks)

She is a bit wild and outlaw (as they say in the South), but she is so lovable. She is a min pin and her energy is through the roof, but she is still sleeping a lot, in true puppy form. She also is gnawing on anything those little fangs can get ahold of. Her and Stormy fight all day and night, trying to establish dominance, but I think as of 4 days ago Stormy is letting her know who's boss. You can tell by that picture that they are not the best of friends, but I think in time they will come to love each other. For the most part, I baby her and she sleeps next to me (yes, in the bed) through most of the night. She is everything I didn't know I wanted. Y'all, I am a Mama all over again!

Love

Sogent & I are going on strong as ever! You probably could have guessed that from him getting me Ni Ni. Yes, we got a baby together before wedlock...teeheehee. We have been together for almost 3 years and it seems like many people are anxious to see us wedded. While I am very flattered by that sentiment and happy to see my friends tying the knot (Big Up, Sunsail & Count), Sogent and I like to live in the present and are pretty happy just the way we are now. Of course marriage is and has been a delightful convo/idea we've had for quite some time. It will come when it is supposed to be. Recently, I got into a huge debate at a local bar with a guy who said that as much as he "thinks outside of the box", he insists that if a man does not formally propose to a woman within 2 years of dating, than she's not the one. Ha! Isn't that something?!?! Neither of us are in a rush to legalize it, nor will we succumb to pressure of having to go that route within a certain time frame. The law can not adequately define or represent what we feel for each other, so we don't feel rushed. I love Love, but a my kinda love is not about technicalities.

I just had to include this part of the post because I wanted to remind everyone that's in love (married, engaged, dating, living together) to love fearlessly and passionately...you don't always have to play by the rules.

I'm teaching!

Well technically a TA. However I have my own class to instruct and grade. I teach statistics and research methods and I love it. Most students are great, but there are a few that test my patience. I will be seeing many students again, and I am looking forward to doing it all over again. Initially, I thought I would hate it, but I love teaching. The only awkward thing is that most of my students are a few years younger and in some cases older in age than I am. They are pretty respectful but some folks looking in from the outside don't even try to hide their shock. I don't mind it because in the end the come to respect me.

My Hair

My hair is doing GREAT! At least, I don't have any complaints. I still do it mainly myself, but Sogent has taken mercy on me and has done a marvelous job in the middle of my head. I will be going to a consultant at some point this month and I am anxious about having her spend a few hours on my head. I am so nervous, y'all. I think it will go okay, but let's see . I am not very bashful when it comes to me contracting a service, let alone service for my hair.

As far as my style is concerned, I cut about 2inches of my bangs, but in 2 months time, they grew back. I think I will go a little more dramatic next time. My regimen has not changed much, I invested in an ionic dryer which works great, but next time I think I'm gonna get one on its on stand instead of a desk top one. Other than that, it has helped keep my locs sleeker than air drying and my curls more defined.

Speaking of curls, Shanessence suggested flexirods to me and I've found them to be wonderful. They really define my curls, without making them too tight, however, sleeping in them is a complete nightmare (esp if you do pin curls...roller set- not so bad). I also use the JA Mango & Lime Lock and Set lotion which holds well and is light yet moisturizing. About once a month I do a standard Jojoba hot oil conditioning. And for shampoo & conditioner I'm experimenting with more natural shampoos. I'm not married to one just yet, but I've been sorta having an affair with the Kiss Your Face Green tea & Lime.

I know I've been MIA, and this year I will do better with keeping everyone updated and informed about what;s going on my way. Thanks for not forgetting about me everyone.

finding a stylist...

2009-01-05T15:22:00.000-08:00

***back post***

I will now admit that I cannot conquer this mountain of a mane I have on top of my head alone. So I've been looking around for consultants and I have frozen up! A few months ago I was gung ho about finding someone but after hearing $30 & $35 per hour (and certain that it will take roughly 6) I began to fret big time. I've spoken to a few people, but cannot commit. I don't know what it is, but I can not fathom paying at least $180 for retightening- that's more than double my last retightenings by someone else! In my search, I've discovered that I am a little picky. What nerve do I have?!?! But there are just a few things I am a bit biased about. Now being in the science field, bias is shunned. However, you can often still release findings if you admit/acknowledge these things. I've come to the realization that everything starts out from a bias view because we all have out own perspective. But here are my secret little biases (and for the record, I am not very proud that I have these, but it is true):

a) I prefer a woman. I know, I know, men probably are equally as talented, but I've always cherished the feminine bond while working on my head. I've had only one male hairdresser (who did a fab shampoo, press, and curl), but there is that something extra that I felt like I was missing out on. Something a feminine man just couldn't provide. I dunno. I know, that is probably bad to want, but it is what it is.

b) I prefer my stylist to have SLs. What better person to understand the stages and styling? I would consider going to someone without SLs, but it would take a lot to sell me on the idea.

c) Ideally, I want to pay under $100/session. I've heard the saying: "you get what you pay for", but I paid very little to have them installed and cared for for the 1st few months and got GREAT service & bonding. Maybe I'm a bit spoiled.

I wrote the above a few months ago and while trying to finish my other posts, I re-read this one sitting in the holding tank. I had to laugh because since then I am proud to say that I found a consultant... I've not had a session with her yet but I am very excited. We hit it off pretty well the first time we met. I will let you know how our first session goes (hopefully within the next 3 weeks).

vacation...

2009-01-05T01:23:00.000-08:00

***back post***

I had a short vacation in las vegas with my family and I must say that it was a great time. My father celebrated the big 6-0 and it was off the chain. The theme was purple dress and we saturated that restaurant with variations of that color.

On the hair tip- This was the first time that I realized that my hair had grown. I had to ditch the Carusos (Brunsli did warn me of this early on) for flexi rods. I love these better than the SoftSpikes because it holds the spiral curl just enough to where it lasts for well over 1 week, but doesn't appear too tight. The only set back is sleeping in them. It is pure hell! So I dry as much as I can under the dryer. The good thing about using these rods are that your style is not completely shot if it hasn't dryed all the way. Plus I've tried a dry set (completely dryed hair that's sprayed with some styling lotion or spritz).

While in Vegas, I swam (around the end of the trip, of course), gambled (left well into the Black-not bad for a first timer), and dominated the dominoes table. On the last night of fun and games, I became aware of a new hair product called "Mixed Chicks". I'm not exactly sure why I was so shook by this, but surely it had me struggling to take some pictures of it with my camera (which all came out horribly). Do you think that someone who is not mixed using it desires to be so? Maybe I should create a hair product called Nappy Headed Black Gals?!?

I didn't take too many pics, cuz "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas".

;)

gimmie a break...

2008-12-16T15:17:00.001-08:00

Finals have come and gone and winter break is finally here! I am free!!!!!!

I'll be back-posting so stay tuned!

"For the first time...

2008-11-05T07:54:00.001-08:00

in my adult life, I am really proud of my country" -Michelle Obama

The First Family of the United States of America

How beautiful it was to see everyone together last night after President Elect Obama gave his speech. There was not much I could say today. So like many others, I let my tears flow. Tears for joy and hope and for those who did not live to see this day.

happy autumn...

2008-09-22T19:33:00.001-07:00

It's that time of the year when it is not too hot or cold and the leaves are begining to turn into deep bursts of red & orange. Here on the East Coast the days start to resemble those of the West... hot days and cool nights. I'm no fashionista or anything, but one of my favorite things about Fall is that it is a time when you can get super creative with your clothing (supposedly for the sake of being warm). During my locked life, I have rarely worn a hat. This is because I've not found one to fit. Other than a beanie (with lots of give), I don't even dare try on a hat...even on the very cold days. Well, I was given a very fab hat (by someone I think is equally as fab) that fits...okay barely, but I'll take it. It's only the 2nd day of fall and I am already in love with it. In fact I wore it out the store...looking all Bohemian-minus-the-chic. I've already planned 5 outfits that would go great. Hip Hip Hooray for Fall & my new hat & a fab guy for picking it out!!!!

Have you experienced the same issue with headwear? Is there any brand or store that you know can accomodate a big head with a lot of hair?

Up Coming post idea: Hats that fit.

a great night with my guy...

2008-09-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

For the past few years, I've heard lots about the Heineken Red Star Soul Concerts. Well, this year featured Chrisette Michelle & Raheem DeVaughn. I just love CM's voice & music and for the past few months Sogent has had to deal with me singing (mostly off key) her songs all the time. I mentioned this event almost everyday until the day of the performance. If you are not familiar with how ticketing goes for these events, you should know that one must call and win them from the radio station. Now, Sogent nor I have the time/patience to be caller #18 for the tickets. I basically chalked it up as a loss and had planned for us to have drinks and listen to CM's CD I Am. While finishing up a light meal, Sogent goes to the computer, makes a call, and says that we need to pick up the tickets in 30mins!?!?! Somehow, he was able to not only talk to someone to get us tickets to show, but also get us in the VIP section!?!?!? We drank free beer, saw an excellent performance from the best view in the building, and danced to some of the most beautiful & refreshing songs. I don't mean to brag, but I LOVE MY GUY!!!! It's times like these when he goes the extra mile to make the highly improbable happen. Granted, I would have been okay if we had stayed home and had our own little concert, but dancing with the love of my life while our special song played live was amazingly memorable.

I really wrote because I wanted to post my last minute hair styl... the sloppy ponytail with a swoop. I've taken up swimming again and I usually swim the day I do my weekly shampoo. However, the pool has been closed for the past week and I've been extremely busy with work & school, so I hadn't washed my yet. So this is the style that I do when my hair is not at it's best. This is from an old curl set and I am obviously due for a re-tightening soon. But if at the lat minute you find yourself needing to pull something together, I think going for an updo or semi-updo is best.

doggie hair diva...

2008-09-19T18:41:00.000-07:00

My dog is officially a diva. Today I took her to "get her hair done" and it turned into a mini spa day. She normally goes to the groomer about every 3 months. In between time, I wash her and experiment with different cuts (yes, I've tried cornrows and a faux-hawk). Because I was so displeased with the service of her usual groomer, I decided to try another one. Immediately, I thought they were very professional and very friendly to my little diva. Within 10 minutes they had talked me into getting the "premium" package. This package included a special shampoo, deep conditioning, message, and teeth brushing. The works! All the workers fawned over her and said "Isn't she worth it?" Classic ploy! But still I gave it the green light. When I got the bill upon picking her up, I was charged an extra $ for the "15 extra minutes" they spent trying to cut the hair between the paws of my "wiggleworm"! This is on top of being charged extra for the premium package and the location. I was pissed, but how can you contest unauthorized charges when everyone is rushing to pet and kiss your dog and telling you how cute she is? Dammit! I gave in and fell for the okey doke. I was mad as hell, but decided to try to enjoy the ride home.
The above pic is 4 hrs after her spa day...she hates bows in her hair, thus the lat one is hanging on for dear life.

This is when a few questions popped in my head:
How is it that I've never been to a spa and yet my dog has?
I've never really thought about going to a spa until someone else tells me how fab their experience was. After a few days, I forget all about it. I think I'm a little jealous of my dog. Crap!

Why does she have a "stylist" and I can not seem to commit to one?
Admittedly, I have some issues about getting a consultant. I have not seen one in over 2 years. I think I am still mourning moving away from my original one. I've tried to pull it together and just go see one, but I can never seem to seal the deal. I'm not saying it's a bad thing that I don't see one, but some days I wish I could just sit back and enjoy a professional's talents.

Why am I okay with paying for her hair to get done and not my own?
I think I know the answer to this one... because they can do what I can't. You all know that I'm a DIYer and can safely assume that I've gone through my fair share of grooming tools on Stormy. My styles seem to take a very long time, become uncomfortable for us both, and the product usually looks jacked. So paying for something that I can not do myself seems well justified. If it's any consolation to my psyche, I've been paying for her hair to get done for almost 5 years and I still have sticker shock.

By the time I made it home, I decided to book a spa day before the year is out or maybe to see a consultant (though I wouldn't hold my breath on the latter).

hair i've noticed lately...

2008-09-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

This is a section that I will do weekly. My hairstyles are often the interpretation/version of something that inspires me. I could be a mood(most often), a shape, a era, a piece of art, or dare I say another person! Sometimes, I see some styles that I put my own twist on and ones that I just simply am feeling. I often notice hair in the media and sometimes I feel compelled to give them their props. So here I will post people in the media whose hair I am digging for the time being. I do not experiment much with my own hair, but if one of the styles strikes me, I will even post one that I think is worth mentioning. Please feel free to send me a picture of you if you have a banging pic that you think should be featured. Send it to ayankha@hotmail.com and include what your inspiration was.

Michelle Obama. In almost every clip and pic I’ve seen, her hair is always freshly styled. I especially love this shot of her in Vogue magazine. Though I would love to see her go natural (her hair is looking a little wispy at the ends after all the styling and perm), I'm not mad at the "swag" she's got. So go ahead Mimi and work it!

Jill Scott. Different, but lovely. I don’t think it matters what Jilly from Philly wears. I just love that woman. Yes the shaved sides are a bit extreme but that’s okay if she likes it.

Whoopi Goldberg. This is a definite upgrade. Since she's been on the View lately, I've noticed the bob hair cut in her locks. What a difference a cut can make. She has always been someone I that I thought was uniquely beautiful... from her confidence to her smooth deep dark brown skin. I think this cut really does her justice.

These pics were taken at my final presentation my summer internship. This summer I dressed "professionally" every single day. It was not required, but 1) I felt great doing it, 2) people responded to me a more positively, 3) it helped me fit in a little better, and 4)my mentor dressed similarly (we are so kindred spirits). Since I am finally noticing my hair growth, pulling my mane away from my face usually wins.
*For this style, I curled my hair with flexi-rods, slightly finger combed through them, and pulled it back in a big pony tail (headband length cloth holder looped only twice).

back on the blog...

2008-09-05T18:48:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I had to take a quick break from writing this summer. I started a few posts and hopefully they're still relevant. So, after working hard and getting a little rest this past week, I think it's time for me to update this blog. Enjoy!

old stomping grounds...

2008-05-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

If you guessed the state of Mississippi (Jackson to be exact), you'd be right! And the sweet running back, the one and only Walter "Sweetness" Payton, who graduated from JSU!

Playing ball in the gym.

<-- JSU's walkway (aka "The Plaza"). Me and my two BFFs reunited to to celebrate Kayvon's Medical School graduation and upcoming move to CT. We all had not been in MS together since two of us left in 2004. We partied and explored the city with different and nostalgic eyes. We went to look around our Alma mater and were impressed at all the upgrades that have been made and are currently underway. We passed by old buildings and laughed at our 4 year journey together.

I also continued my exercise while there! Since my gym has no locations in MS (or most of the South for that matter), I worked out outdoors, which had a good side and a bad side: good= small downtown & plenty of side walks; bad= HOT & HUMID (90 degree avg- I have the tan & heat rashes to prove it). I got a chance to see parts of the city in more detail and I experienced a GREAT runner's high every single time.

We partied it up at some of our favorite spots and were both disappointed and extremely delighted. Disappointment- one club made us feel very old and completely over dressed. Delight- Seven exceeded expectations. This cafe would change venues like drawers, but have finally found a place with a unique character that accurately captures the art scene of Jackson, MS. From the rustic paint on the walls and floor to the game corner this opened up house had different rooms for artistic expression. And to my crew's delight, there was one room specifically playing reggae.

<-- Las Tres Amigas On the hair tip... my hair was pretty flat but decent. I used Carusos but those styles would only last for the day. I would try to keep it up for 2 days though. My other friends have natural hair, and we run into interesting women that make/ask good and not so great comments/questions. Conquering Lioness gets the same comment roughly every month: "I like your texturizer". She has never or now had a texturizer, but women often assume. She has thick, curly hair and whenever she puts a little moisture in it... people assume chemicals. While we were at the store one woman asked me where I got my braids done?!?!? I looked around cuz surely she wasn't talking to me, but I realized she was and I had to tell her they were locks. I guess that was a compliment. So I told her where and thanked her. It was one of the most awkward moments I've ever had. Another question that is common: "Is that all your hair?". I think that's my favorite. I love being a thick, nappy headed gal. (above pic: my first time doing karaoke... shakira gets me every time. )

So what I noticed about people in MS is that there aren't very many people with locs, those with them are mostly men. There were many curious women (some even with naturals) that asked questions from time to time, and are eager to connect with another woman with natural hair. I had a chance to converse with many lovely women about hair and even exercise. I can definitely see that MS is growing and I am eager to play a part in that growth. In short, I love MS.

a quick vacay...

2008-05-28T18:19:00.000-07:00

In light of reading about everyone's travel, I guess I could speak on my own recent vacation. Try to take a guess at where I traveled?

Hint: A sweet running back hailed from this state and has this gym named after him!

(((smack)))...

2008-04-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

After I read Bygbaby's post on his experience with the women popping her gum in the AAADT performance, I wasn't sure I could imagine what he was going through. That is until the semester began....

One of my GRADUATE classmates seems to have this issue in EVERY class I take with her, and this semester I am taking 2 of my 3 hr classes with her. So twice a week for the last 14 weeks for 3hrs straight I hear (((SMACK))) (((POP))) (((CHEW, CHEW, CHEW))). Now, I will admit that I had a gum issue, and someone let me know politely, and I now rarely chew gum (only lasting 10 mins) and never really in public. So I thought, maybe at the end of the semester, I would let her know until I heard her recount a story to another classmate:

Other Mate: That Prof was trippin. I wasn't sure if she was joking.
G-Popper: No, she wasn't joking. I don't care what she says. One day I was popping my gum and she looked at me and I kept right on popping my gum for the rest of the class.
Other Mate: Oh word.
G-Popper: Ummm hmmm

Ummm.... what does one say to that? How can someone approach her and say "Well, I think your gum popping is highly inappropriate in class and is bothering me?" She is not very approachable (gives major attitude most times) and (based on this story) is kinda proud of her ability to annoy the heck out of someone with that foolishness. It is one thing to not be aware of what you're doing, but it's a whole other thing to be aware and use it as an assault weapon (well, assault to the ears). I'm not sure if I should tell her...I do only have 2 more weeks to bear?!?!

Update: I punked out! Nowadays, I wonder if I should I have said something despite her proclamation????

another update...

2008-04-18T08:22:00.000-07:00

school daze...

Most of the reason why I have not kept up with my posts is due to my last "real" go 'round at taking school courses. "Real"= 3+ courses in one semester. For the past 8 years (yes, 16 semesters straight... excluding summers of course), I have taken no less than 3 courses (=9hrs/wk) per semester. In fact in undergrad, 3 would have been a luxury, but my mother thought it was just fine for me to be scores of hours over the required hours for my degree. She figured, if I could do well enough to graduate with a high gpa, then it would only benefit me to take things I might have been interested in (see, that's where I get my love for bargains and maximizing benefits). So, I've been stuck in this mode of maximizing course hours. Now, I am ready to focus primarily on research (yay!)... oh yeah... and my 6-hour comprehensive exam (boo!). This semester was esspecially challenging (for reasons I should not air out on the blog- school related reasons) but I've learned SOOO much and got a high gpa in the process (yay!).

back in the tech-world...
I finally did it....(((sigh)))...I succumbed to the pressure...

I've been on a presentation/lecture/interview frenzy in the past month! And not driving to these locations has been crazy (I still love the Metro train, though). So it was only natural for me to get a phone. It's not fancy or anything, but it has been doing its job. I've had it for over a month and I am adjusting to it. I get a little irritated for not using all my mins at the end of the month, but thinking about the alternative (phone constantly ringing, shelling out extra $ for extra mins, etc)... I'm just fine.

on the grind...

As a result of my frenzied semester, I landed a great research internship at a private research company! I wore my hair slightly bumped on the ends and partially pulled back in a low ponytail (I call it my professional look). I got a couple of compliments that day! [Sorry for the lack of photos, they all crashed with my computer] So, for anyone that still may be thinking that you can't look professional with locs (and I've recently had a conversation with a woman who said this... conversation further in post), take that! I am sooo excited about starting this new position. I recently discovered that it is a FULL-TIME position. The issue: I am currently working a part-time job that I absolutely love and heading up a project very dear to me (contracted by my internship's company, to boot). I will be working both and have worked out quite a rigorous schedule. But hey I am doing what I love. Let's see how much I will love it after week 3. On a good note, I now can afford to go to a consultant and not feel too guilty about spending the money because I will literally have NO time to do my hair this summer. So wish me luck with finding someone. Any suggestions for a consultant in the DC Metro area?

a conversation about hair...

I recently had a conversation with a woman (age: mid 20's) about hair. It was a semi-casual convo. She has straight hair via perm and we were discussing some of the effects of hair on health (along the lines of the post at the top of my blog). Somewhere in the conversation, I think she got a sense that I was trying to encourage her to go "natural". Now, for those who don't know me, I've never damned straightened hair. The closest I've come is gushing about the wonderfulness of having SLs. Back to the actual conversation... this is the highlighted version:
Permella- How long have you had your locks?

Me- For over 2 wonderful years now.

Permella- I gotta hand it to you, I just can't go natural. I want to [go natural], be able to do whatever [I want], but I just don't think natural hair [exhibits] the look I want...that I like.

Me- (((genuinely curious)))....umm...what look is that?

Permella- You know, professional, polished ((looking at my pineapple and looking a little nervous)).

Me- Wow! Have you seen the various styles of natural hair and VERY PROFESSIONAL women wearing the gammit of them? Maybe today, I am not fitting that bill, but have you even seen me when I handle business. So please explain this "look" you are going for.

Permella- It's just that when I see afros, braids, and dreds, that's the hairstyles that would most likely be seen in the welfare or food stamp office...you know, on "ghetto" ((accented with air quotes)) women. I just don't want to be associated with that.

Me- ((mouth agape)) Are you serious?

Permella- Well, it costs money to keep up a perm. ((thinking a bit more))I'm not saying that they are necessarily ghetto, but that's the perception that many have.

Me- ((Still in shock)) First off, money? Do you know that it still costs money to keep up natural styles? And secondly, who with these perceptions?

Permella- Oh yeah that's right, the women will have like $300 braids. People's opinions...White and Black.
Me- [TOO LONG TO WRITE MY ACTUAL LITANY] The highlights:
1. At the threat of falling into her stereotype, I've been to food stamp offices and newsflash: Most women in those offices had perms (including their children) and/or weaves...like hers!
2. How much stock do you put in one's opinion of you? As a grown woman handling your business, it shouldn't be that much. 3. When did natural hair=ghetto. If anything, I think the perception I give off is that I am not to be f**ked with cuz I don't subscribe to the standard of what beauty has been said to be.
4. It is truly a sad thing that she thinks that natural hair is such a negative thing. I think she is someone who is afraid to just let go of what has been ingrained in her standard of what's acceptable.
Update: I've spoken to her since, and she is trying to come around. Plus, I think it doesn't hurt that she's since seen me with my SLs freshly styled and re-tightened.

another again...
like I previously mentioned, my computer crashed AGAIN! Not only that but it crashed the day before the week of my finals. Luckily, I saved most of my school stuff, but not many pictures. I will be purchasing a new one this summer!

in the meantime, I've had to use whatever I could get my hands on. One Friday, I had to submit work to my job, so I decided to pay a visit my local public library. It was 10am and I just knew that I would not be pestered by the school kids running around chatting it up on their cell phone while surfing myspace. I get there and it is nice and peaceful! I type away and submit my report. When I finish, I figure I've earned a little online handbag shopping (or browser surfing, to be more accurate). I spot this wonderful sienna, white, and black tote that is reasonably priced and goes perfectly with my new pair of sandals. As I enlarge the picture, the man sitting to my left says "That bag really suits you. You should get that one". Umm, when did it become okay to be all in someone's business like that. It wasn't something terribly personal, but still I did not think it was appropriate that he would be all up in my screen. I uneasily say thanks and give him the fake smile (and ladies, you know how the fake smile goes). Misunderstanding the smile, he goes on to tell me about stories of him being in Korea and seeing plenty nice bags there, which led him to discuss his career as a comedian. A few, "that's nice"s and "oh really"s later, he is directing the library person to my computer to help me get to his youtube performances. Unfortunately, I had on my workout clothes (I was going to the gym after the library) with my ipod & earphones, and he insisted that I watch his performances right there. After viewing not only one, but TWO clips of his EXTREMELY vulgar performances which ONLY talked about sex, it was time to leave. But of course, not before he invited me (and my BOYFRIEND that I had mentioned several times) to one of his local shows...which costs $20 (now that was the funniest thing I heard him say). I told him I don't do the comedy club thing (though I really do like comedians w/ substance) and all but ran out of the library. Later that night I told Sogent about my encounter, and believe it or not, this was the same guy that pulled him on stage at a comedy show outing with his coworkers and made vulgar jokes. What a small crazy world!?!?!

spring is here...

and so are the catapillers! In the area, there has been a HUGE resurgence of these brown and black hairy things. Initially, I saw a few around my patio. A week later, there was an infestation EVERYWHERE in my complex... the walkways, the parking lot, the street corner. I googled these things and discovered that every few years or so, they come out in large numbers and are actually considered pests because there can be so many of them at once. I saw what the nests look like and low and behold... they were about 6-10 in about EVERY tree. I live in a largely wooded area, so you can imagine the number I'm talking about. Just as I was about to berate the matenance folks, I noticed at work that these aweful nests (and copious catipillers) were everywhere too. Everyone says, "Ohh the butterflies will come". Umm, in the meantime, these worms are getting on my nerves. I'm sure the birds and whatever other catipiller eaters will be fat this year (or at least I hope). All this is going on, while my allergies aggrevate my throat and eyes daily. Once upon a time, I used to like Spring and Summer the most, but Fall & Winter are looking like paradise right now.

paaaaarty time....

2008-03-05T14:36:00.000-08:00

this is what a few drinks, lasers, good convo, laughs, and bumpin music leads to:

**I didn't realize how much bra was showing until I saw the pics. So, please excuse.

Sunsail, the Count, Sogent, and I met up and turned the party out in MD. We drank and shook our bootys until the very wee hours of the morn. It was one of those parties where you completely sweat out your hair and make up. After a week of hustling back and forth (like we all do), this is really what we all needed. Sunsail & the Count really know how to have fun.

On the hair tip, both our hair looked marvelous... and not so bad by the end of the night. There were a few other sisters in the place to be with locks and naturals, but I noticed that we would get glances from guys & gals trying to figure out how we were wearing our hair. What can I say... the Sexy SLers were in the house, shakin what our mommas gave us!!!

weight: a social don't...

2008-02-28T22:02:00.000-08:00

Now, I know I have my qwirks when it comes to socializing and group interaction, but I know that some things you just don't say to folks. Case in point:

This day I was feeling great from a very good work out from the previous night. I had a very long day ahead of me at work, so I decided to grab a bite from the cafeteria near my office. While waiting for my sandwich, I see The woman who works in the next bldg. I decided to tap her to say hello since it has been about 6 mos since I've seen her:

Me: Hey! How are you?

Woman who works in the next Bldg: Hey girl... you've gained weight... I can see it in your face...

Me: Ummmmm?!?!?!?! Wow, that's funny cuz I just got back into going to the gym more than 3 times a week and strictly monitor my eating (As I grab my unsweetened green tea & egg salad on wheat sandwhich).

Woman who works in the next Bldg: Girl, you still look good, though.

Me: Ummmmm....((confused))....((contrived smile))....OKAY, Thanks?!...

I'm not exactly sure what happened after that... I was still stuck on gained weight.

Do I really need to list what is so wrong about just this part on the conversation... I think I do:

1. How is that the first thing you say to someone you haven't seen in 6mos? I don't care if I gain 80lbs, that is a complete social faux pas! You don't have to lie to me, but just don't bring up weight, especially if that's not something I've ever even discussed with you.

2. Don't ever tell someone if they've gained weight unless you have a scale.... and even then, I'm sure they know or don't want you pointing it out (esp in a cafeteria)

3. Out of all the random stuff you could say, why not try talking about ... what I'm eating for lunch, how my hair looks (which she would mention every time I saw her last year), maybe the humongous zit on my face, or better yet, HOW THE HELL YOU'VE BEEN DOING. Anything, but an increase in my weight (which according to my scale and clothes size is not existent).

4.Would it have been way out of line to have responded with: Oh my, how your lips and gums have gotten blacker since we last saw each other OR Are those the same jacked up wrap braids from August?

See, this took me for a loop because I was feeling pretty nice this week: a) I've exercised nearly every night (I'm back to LOTS of running & elliptical), b) I'm trying a veggetarian morn & afternoon lunch, c) Sogent has marveled at my subtle body changes, d) I lost 4lbs in one week (from my usual weight with was not overweight to begin with), and e) I've been in a very creative/productive mood.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive about this, but this incident is the first time someone has said that to me in many years. Thank God for Sogent and my healthy self esteem.

**Here are photos of me in Aug 2007 and the morning of the incident Feb 2008 (ironically I was playing with the camera that morning. So this is exactly how I was dressed/looked 4 hours earlier. I think I look the same.

tagged...

2008-02-12T09:08:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged by amina & ja stu sister lock journey. so I've been trying to come up with some interesting stuff. Really, I a m pretty boring, but I'll try. I am recovering from my Barack-o-mania here in DC! It's so wonderfully exciting. As I pass down the streets, people wave their signs and honk. [Update: Barack has been kicking Clinton Bootay!]. Okay, on to what you really wanted:

So, here are the rules:(1) Link to the person that tagged you.(2) Post the rules on your blog.(3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.(4) Tag however many people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.(5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I watch the news EVERY morning and then fuss at the tele when they say something completely crazy (esp about Barack Obama). So by the time I go to work or class, I am wide awake and fired up. Dang, Sogent turned me out. Before, I would destest watching the news so early in the day, but maybe I'll ease up once the election is over... 8 months to go (hopefully Obama will get the Democratic nomination)...gulp!

2. I went through a BRIEF pencil thin eyebrow/heavy lip liner phase in high school. My best friend at the time was Latina (named Mighty Mouse- because she was so short) and gave me some hair and make up tips. I didn't cut any long bangs or wear the big hoop earring as suggested, but the make up was well received. I only was able to wear it for one day (Mom didn't allow much make up at school), but I'd go on to rock the eyebrows for a few years...(((Shutter))). I know there are pics floating around my mother's house and I will leave the most hideous alone. (** Again, this is not me, but the look was similar.)

3. I had a small gap before I got braces. It wasn't really big (think Madonna in the 80s), but nonetheless I hated it enough when I was young that I used to put chewing gum between it and dance around the mirror and imagine what it would be like without it. I guess seeing that enough, my parents let me get braces. Now that I'm older, I kinda wish I had my gap back (it is a signature feature of all the women on my mother's side afterall). Either way, I'm okay. (** This is not me in the pic.. though this looks similar to how mine looked pre-orthodontia)

4. I hardly ever match my clothes. I hadn't noticed until Sogent (the fashinisto, in my eyes) asked me if that was one of my key ingredients to my style. I never really thought about it since I don't go all out on the fashion edge for work or school. There are two mainstays in my daily winter wardrobe: My brown boots (the other love of my life) and my Black down jacket (the 3rd love of my life). Everything else I wear, just happens to be the first thing I see that requires little or no ironing. (Maybe a pic next time)

5. I love high heels. I don't get to wear them to work or school (I am officially a commuter and walk roughly 2mi per day), but on the weekends I am all heels. I have suffered some serious injuries as a result of dancing way too much in certain pairs. If there is a goode side to buying flat shoes, 1. I am not doing as much damage to my feet and back 2. I don't buy nearly as many pairs as I did and want to.

6. I often imagine I am a mermaid when I am underwater (esp in an ocean). I was obsessed with the Little Mermaid when I was young and would stay in the water forever... this is also how I learned to hold my breath and do flips/twirls under the water. Sade's "No Ordinary Love" didn't help my obession.

7. I love wedding cake!!!!!!! That is probably my favorite part of weddings... yeah forget the bride & groom, it's all about the cake. If I ever get married, I think I may have several different cakes (you know cuz I'm going to marry a prince like the little mermaid did... he can afford it... ahem Sogent) cuz I'm not sure if I can choose just one.

8. I have been cell phone free for around 8-9 mos! It started as just an experiment and has now blossomed into a lifestyle. I think I am generally less stressed. In classes when a phone goes off, I smile because I know it's definitely not mine. Admittedly, I get really close to buying one off the street hustler on those really cold days, but I am hanging in there. Who knows, maybe I'll get one after I make 1 yr.

Okay, I can't think of any thing else. Next Up, Nappytexangirl, Sunsail, Brenda

What I watched during the Superbowl half-time…

2008-02-05T09:07:00.000-08:00

Now I am not really a Giants fan, but my dislike of the Patriots (with the cheating selves) and I like the Manning family (being from MS doesn’t hurt), was all that I needed to root for the Giants. So, I decided to actually look at the game. Yes I was part of that 97.5 million. However, during halftime (I don’t know who performed, but I know nobody I liked did so) I checked out this video:

Yes We Can

Now I know many of you probably have already seen it, but I thought it was very inspiring. It struck a cord in me- just like most of his speeches. It would be hard to describe, but I am sure others have felt it. I mean I was almost in tears. Every time I see Barack Obama speak, I feel like I am literally watching a paradigm shift in American politics. One that will definitely be documented in the history books.

As I’ve been keeping up with the election, I’ve noticed there has been much criticism about people, especially younger folks, supporting him. To this criticism, I ask, do you FULLY know what your candidate stands for? And not just the statistical facts (as Hillary had mentioned in a recent interview, people can have “different facts”… what BS), I mean the translation to real world results for the majority of America. For me (and I think many others), not only does Obama offers great policies (not that other candidates don't because many are quite similar), but him alone being the president, would be SOOO inspirational to many people who thought that the possibility of someone being a minority, being raised in a single parent home, and/or making mistakes in his past (and owning up to them- something Hillary seems to refuse to do about voting for the war) could be achieve such a feat. We FINALLY have someone in the election process that strives to be a voice for all of us that must defy the odds and horrifying statistics. Not only this, but he seems to GENUINELY want to unite the country. I've not heard him stress that we need a 'Democrat' (or a particular party) in office (like others have that shall remain nameless). Instead he focuses on what he can offer and his vision. In other words, he is "doing him"- a respectable quality.

I truly did not intend for this to be a plug for Obama, but more of an acknowledgement of something great happening in the nation. Have you any idea what would happen when the masses that have been ignored and peed on get inspired (and actually are on the same page)? Once that flicker of hope is ignited, status quo would be met with great resistance. And I understand that this will change the way of life as we know it. I know there are many out there that are scared of a change like this, but I have a challenge for you: Take the red pill.

taking a peek up from under the rock i've hiding...

2008-01-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

I am still alive and kicking, y'all. thank you to those that sent me an email or thought about me while I was "away". I've been in a "social funk"... not really wanting to do anything besides figure out some school stuff. that's no real good excuse to neglect my blog, but it'll have to do for now. aside from living life , I will try to fill you all in on what's been up.

hair... status: still thick-wit-it
i've noticed that when my hair comes up in conversation the word "thick" seems to be most frequently used to compliment or describe it (I love it either way). I've always liked the word thick... growing up (and even now), it's a positive adjective guys used to describe the body of a fine woman. On the flip side, I remember going to the hair shop as a little girl to get my hair pressed and my thick hair would be the feature that made my stylist charge an extra $10 and curse under her breath while trying to comb it out. Hell even now I'd probably be charged extra if I went to a consultant, but without so much of the rant. Who would have thought that this same mischevious thickness would be one of my favorite physical features? I am very appreciative when someone says my hair is thick. So for those 4 people that said that my hair was thick on that Wednesday in October.... THANKS!

hair con't... time and style

I am coming up on my two year mark (this month) and still am loving my hair. I was just told today that it looks like hair has grown....I dunno. but I do find that I have to style my hair differently. I still maintain it myself, though I had been looking for a consultant last month. I just rested on the fact that I am able enough to do it myself...for now. as for styling, I still use my carusos to jazz up my locks and for longer lasting styles I use the softspikes. one style that i am rocking heavily nowadays is what sogent calls my "tsunade" look. over the past few months I've become a huge fan of various japanese anime shows (don't even ask why or how), so i guess i was inspired by one of the characters. but really, i like the look especially when i was having a hard time trying to figure out how to wear my semi-short hair up (it was really hot in DC this summer). the middle picture is a high ponytail with chunky bangs aided by curling my hair with the large Softspikes. The last picture is my chunky bangs bumped with the Carusos and a low ponytail. the difference: the carusos curl is a bit looser and are pretty much for a one-night do. also carusos minimize the puffiness of my locs.. giving me a sleeker do...IMHO.

academia... status: eyes on the prize
still running my life and taking it one semester at a time. I am doing my very best to stay on a timeline (hence the sabbatical) and receiving a lot of moral support from everywhere. I had a semester of very interesting classes that rekindled a fire I hadn't realized had dimmed over the years. also I think I found my official area of interest (yippee!). so we'll see...

the love life... status: each day gets better!!!

I really don't want to brag but my man is AWESOME!!!! we have been together for 1 year and 9 months and I wake up smiling everyday. He made sure that the holidays were extra special and makes me smile all the time. Our bond has been getting stronger and I am so glad that we have each other.

family... loving and growing
we went home for the first Christmas holiday in about 5 years! children truly make it a special time. we played, laughed, and enjoyed my nieces and nephew to the fullest. and I'd like to think stormy (my doggie) did too. we had a ball and even contributed to the Christmas meal. we also found out that in a few months my sister will have twins... a rarity because twins do not really run in the family. this is so exciting! we entertained the children mostly, but did get a chance to sneak to the beach in Malibu and caught a magical sunset. we also got chance to indulge in the plethora of fruit growing from house to house...lemons, oranges, pomegranate, etc. All in all, it was a very good (and much needed) time with family. to all the Cali bloggers and friends (Brunsli, AllyH2o, etc), sorry that i didn't get a chance to tell you and try to meet up. I had a lot going on at that time. On a good note, I may return in March during Spring Break since there is a national conference going on in San Diego around that time. I will let y'all know.

so what i've been up to...

2007-09-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to update everyone on what's been going on with me (in case you were wondering).

1. School has started again with much controversy (which I will not discuss on the net for various reasons). On a good note, I finally have a class with the only professor in my department that has SLs. How cool is that? It is a class that examines social issues and she actually makes it fun to go to class on a Friday moning (Okay, maybe I'm a little biased because she has SLs...lol). But nonetheless, it is kinda cool to come to class and see someone who "looks like me".

2. So, on top of dreading the month of August, my computer still has not been fixed. I am attempting to recover all the lost data (word docs, photos from the last 2 yrs, presentations) from my harddrive. It will be remedied soon and I hope to provide photos of some of the styles I've braved wearing outside of home.

3. About new styles, I've been attempting to wear my hair up. My hair has grown a bit and the heat finally gotten to me. Now I'm a little sad that it is starting to get cooler. But maybe if I invest in some really cool scarves (Sunsail, I am an etsy-a-holic too), I can still try out my up dos.

4. It's not really all that new, but I've officially renounced cell phones. Yes, CELL phones. After getting turned on to Skype (thanks Brunsli), my cell phone has been phased out as the singular house phone. At first it was hard. But after while, I started feeling more liberated. No obssessing over being accessible to EVERYONE, no more ringtone debate (not that I ever was really into that), and (best of all) nopressure to renew that contract. I started weaning myself off of it about 1 yr ago (since service was already bad around where I lived, I'd only use >50 mins/mo out of my 800 mins availible), but it was official (like disconnecting service) in July. So the reactions I get range from.... "WTF, I couldn't do that" to "How do you communicate?" to "You probably didn't pay your bill". Lol, you know that last one was from a family member, but there are many who probably think that was the case. For the record, it wasn't. So how am I feeling about it... oaky. It slows down things up here and I get to have more time to myself. I will admit, that the iphone makes it difficult to not want one. We'll see how long I can keep this up. If only I could do this with television...but that is something I'd have to learn from Brunsli.

Well, that's the bulk of it. So please excuse the dryness of this post and being such a lurker on other blogsites.

relationships & beauty in Black, naturally...

2007-08-24T09:49:00.001-07:00

Black men revealed????

While reading a book and faintly looking at television (multitasking at its best), I looked up to see to see a show called Black Men Revealed. This show is pretty much a group of guys (4-5) that sit around a game of dominoes and talk about different topics concerning various issues (mainly women/relationship). They make sure that there is a spectrum of different perspectives on any one topic. For example, the show about cheating included a guy who’d been cheated on several times, one who had cheated, one who hadn't, and one “playa”. I actually tuned in to that show and found it interesting, but I really try to do other things besides watching the tele on the weekends. But when I watched the show yesterday (missing the 1st 10 mins or so) the topic was on women’s beauty… named “Head to Toe: Turn Ons & Turn Offs”. The part I saw featured the preference for hair texture and skin color (SCORE). What struck me the most was the guy most was the opinions of this one guy (with long locks) stating that he wanted his woman to do anything she had to do to get straight-textured hair. Yet later in the show, he said he preferred dark-skinned women (Hmmm, sounds off doesn't it?). Others went on to talk about “good hair”, “bad hair”, and “monochromatic complexioned women” (whatever the hell that means).

The whole conversation was kinda of surreal. I was a bit thrown off by the guy locks, but a larger part of me was not all that shocked. Some of the things about the conversation about hair was that it seemed like NONE spoke up about natural hair (surely not locks). Maybe I thought the locked brother would, but he didn't. Maybe I missed that part (I did miss the 1st 10 mins). I will try to catch that show next time it airs. But where are the bros that dig the natural haired sistas (okay besides Sogent and our significant others)? I just thought it gave the impression that it's not readily accepted. I really like TVOne (and even the show), but that segment was a let down.

The thing is that BMR I really enjoy and I think it appeals to younger people too. BMR is lively and has a comedic tone to it. I just think that the nappy headed gals weren't shown much love on BMR. Why am I concerned with younger NHGs? Finding oneself and feeling comfortable with that decision (which seems to be the opposite of what's considered good/sexy/beautiful all over the media) is still very much in development.

Diary of a What???

Recently, I’ve been turned onto this internet mini-drama called Diary of a Mad Black Man. Have any of you heard of this? Well, I was talking to CL (Conquering Lioness) last night about being in a relationship versus being single and this drama had come to mind (not for any negative reason for anyone of us). It is certainly thought and conversation provoking. Take a look at the initial 3 min clip. **Caution..contains offensive language**

Interesting isn’t it? I know it is a little over-dramatic and kinda stereotypical, but I really get the message and mission (perhaps) of this clip or movie or drama. As for the reaction to interracial dating... I think that this clip really blows a Black woman's reaction out of proportion. I would think it would have been uncomfortable that perhaps he brought ANY woman with him to pick up their daughter (specifically if the divorce was a little fresh). However, the degree of her angry was a bit out there (especially considering it was in front of her friends). Interestingly enough, the movie is not really about interracial relationships (as one may think from this movie), it is about issues in Black relationships.

Reacting to others reactions...There were 11 other 9+ mins promos had been on YouTube (they are taken off now). Yall know I watched them all. But one clip in particular really disturbed me. The clips showed segments in the movie and would feature feedback from off the street or from one of his promotions around the country. In one a Black woman proclaims that there aren’t "any good Black men" and if there are any (complete discredit to the previous statement), they’re with women of other races (which was funny because she was hanging out with two non-Black women which one was currently dating a Black man). She goes on to tell her sob-story of the man who didn’t do her right (which was crazy because she stayed with this man who never paid for any dates and was married for 2 yrs) and her father being a “rolling stone”. This woman really struck me because… she was a natural, beautiful, nappy-headed sista. Out of the other women who were locked or natural, she came to the interview with this sentiment. Not that I totally expected her to sing the praises of Black men, but NOT one good Black Man. What a bold statement. This is another instance of not judging someone by outer appearance.

So my favorite part…. I just LOVE LOVE LOVE the street philosophy going on in between the clips. I had to sit back and admire the beauty of it all (yes, even the ones that were “cussin up a storm”). Perspective (aka Point of View) is such a beautiful thing when it is raw and complex. I think part of it is just seeing a dialogue going on that is not too hood or too academic and not too funny. I give it to Mr. Alexander for this piece because I know it wasn’t easy and it definitely haves the people talking. Feel free to weigh in if you feel compelled. *I apologize again for not being able to provide the other videos I watched*

Oh and my take on:

Black relationships... Oh what a Beautiful Thing!!!! I've had an affinity for Black men since I was a spec in my daddy's testicles (for lack of better word). Growing up seeing my parents interact (my father in complete love and adoration for my mother/ mom going above & beyond to show my daddy that he was tops) was absolutely wonderful. I realized that my parents had shown me how to maintain a healthy relationship, regardless of race. So race was not something that held me back from dating someone I liked (and also who liked me). It just so happens that, an overwhelming majority of the people I've dated have been Black. I've never dated a complete jerk. And you all know how head-over-heels I am about Sogent, who is a Great Black Man. I must say that it has been my experience that Black men have been wonderful!

Carrying On...I do not attest to all the "carrying on" that this documentary referred to as "Black Woman Syndrome" (I absolutely hate that term). I've never had to do all that nor does it even appeal to me. Do I know SOME Black women who do that? Yes, but I wouldn't say a majority (not nearly enough to give it the name of BWS). In fact, I've seen women from other races cut a straight fool (in public) with their man at around the same rate as I've seen Black women. I think a demand for respect is being misrepresented by all that "carrying on". There is a way to get respect from others but it starts with basic respect for self and life.

reminicing...

2007-08-20T09:37:00.000-07:00

It has been exactly one year ago today (well when I wrote this post on 8/8/07) Sogent and I moved here to the DC Metro area! I can remember some of the little things we learned when we first arrived.:

1. Staying in the Birmingham apartment an extra 2 days to finish packing (we were both deep in denial about moving). My big bro drives trucks and needed a place to lay for a few hours, so this really put our procrastination into overdrive. We sat and drank one of my fav beers (Stella Artois) on the floor of my apt watching my 13" tele and talking smack. I don't get to see my bro often. In fact, that was the last time we saw my bro. Dang it's been a long time.

2. The drive was endless and quite exhausting. It had taken around 12 hours the first time we visited, but when you add a trailer to the back of the car... try adding an additional 4+ hours to the journey. I totally didn't take that to consideration. That basically translated to: more gas! So, we were already low on funds and were supposed to meet the apt landlord as soon as we made it in. So, we stopped at a truck stop and took showers! We came in too late, so she agreed to see us the next day. It was like we were on an adventure.

3. My sister's good friend let us stay at his house for the WEEK it took them to prepare the apt. This was the most awesome thing because it helped us save $ towards food & rent. Despite these savings, we still ate and lived on a EXTREMELY tight budget.

4. I was clueless about where MD/VA/DC began and ended. I would be frustrated at trying to navigate my way through the city, which often resulted from being very lost or taking the long way home. Once I began to ride the train regularly, I became much better. But for a while, I would get so lost, I couldn't tell which way was N/S/E/W.

5. It was HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT and HUMIIIIIIIIIIIIID! Had I mistakenly fallen into MS or LA? My goodness! I am not really an AC kinda girl, but I would roast if I didn't put it on even a lil bit. I had forgotten about the weather being like this since the Winter was freezing cold. MD/DC/VA is an area full of extreme weather.

These were some wild and crazy times but through it all me and Sogent found a way to make it through. I can't forget the support we had from family. From a few dollars to encouraging words- it all helped. And guess what? I am starting to like being here more and more. The South is still tops, but I think I can manage to not go completely crazy while here. So this is a hair blog, why am I even discussing this?

If you hadn't noticed, my hair wasn't even on my mind (see I understand Sunsail). I had little time to worry about such a thing. Though I kinda prepared myself for self-maintenace by attending the class in the ATL before I moved, I was stepping into unfamiliar waters. Sometimes you just gotta jump into the water before fear tries to hold you back. [Maybe that last statement is showing part of my 20's ideology.] Some women have asked me about self-maintenance and, truthfully, I must say I learned more just practicing on my head than I did in class. Not to discredit taking the any of the SL courses, I did learn a great deal. But my experiences in my own head gave me that autonomy that I feared that I'd lose in the begining back! And it is a wonderful feeling to know that I am saving money, yet if I ever get tired I could go to someone else. **Disclaimer: This is in no way to take a jab at those who prefer going to someone elese to retighten... I am not that petty... Just expressing the joy/freedom I feel doing my hair myself aside from the downsides... Basically, I'm just glad/thankful that we all are natural & lovin it... by whatever means you choose to express that.**

So my point is: You never know where you may find yourself (literally & metaphorically) until you take the plunge.

laptop blues...

2007-08-17T08:00:00.001-07:00

During my vacation to Montreal, I discovered that my laptop was "malfunctioning". I am in the process of finding someone capable to save my computer. I guess this laptop breaking thing has finally come my way- a first. I will try to blog in the mean time, but I will admit that I am not much in the mood. Oh wait, I do have a few draft posts that I've been meaning to post. So, hope you all enjoy because I am limited with pics.

shenaenae said it best...

2007-08-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

i'm a laaaaaaaaaady!

It was restaurant week in B'more and Sogent treated me to a very nice Spanish tapas restaurant. It was my first time having tapas and I was really excited. I am usually a pants-type of girl, but Sogent really loves it when I wear dresses. So I picked up this little number just for him. Before we left to go out, a girl straight up asked me if my hair was real "all the way through". She then said she was surprised because I had so much hair with "all them little dreds". All I could do is offer a genuine smile at her interest and recommend that she consider getting SLs. She laughed (I’m not sure if it was because she was flattered or because I had posed a crazy suggestion) and all I could do is smile and walk away, leaving her with something to think about. I did a caruso set and maybe she was surprised that my hair looked styled- which is a common fascination when young women ask me about my SLs when they think they are twists.

Despite that awkward moment, many other people complimented my whole look like they had known that I don't wear dresses too often. I mean everywhere we went someone (men and women) had something to say. I almost felt like a superstar. But was skeptical because I barely had on make-up and mid way through the night, the lipstick had vanished from devouring the unlimited tapas, and I was good and greasy from the pitcher of sangria we shared. Despite feeling stuffed, a little tipsy, and sweaty, I was feeling pretty good. Well, we decided to stroll around the harbor and see what the mall had to offer and to our dismay, all the stores were closed by the time we got there dang, y'all see the aveda store behind me in the 1st photo, i wanted to try some new hair products- thanks Brunsli for tickling my curiosity. It was no big deal, it was kinda late and time we head home.

So why did I even write this post....

Maybe it was the red nails... flashy and bold and my absolute favorite...that made me remember that being all lady like sometimes makes me feel so wonderful. What is it about red nails that makes me feel like a cute but bold/sexy lil lady? Maybe because growing up I wasn't allowed to put on nail polish primary Catholic school rule. And in some young girl way, I associate red nails with being very "grown up" and ladylike. Enough psychoanalyzing, I just really love my red nails. lol.

In a way I had to redeem myself for wearing those flip flops at my sister's wedding reception. I'm not the most fashionable person in the world and can usually endure a little pain for the sake of beauty, but that pain was really hardcore. As I get older, I realize that wearing a dress or a skirt is not that bad. But still, I give it to those countless women I see riding the Metro in their heels and/or dress/skirt. I still am in the mind set of you never know when you gotta run for the train or away from some crazy person. But, I'm gonna try to modify my slightly rough work get ups.

Also, this weekend reminded me of all the love that I have surrounding me in real life and cyberspace. Thank you to everyone that visits this site and/or leaves a nice word or two about my journey or simply relates to what I'm saying. I really have come some way since the beginning and appreciate all the advice and encouragement. If I haven't said it before, thank you very much!

random pics...

2007-08-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

i am officially 1.5 years locked down! this past week a co-worker asked me about my hair. i am one of the two Black people (both of us women) in the lab and the only one locked. the other has gone between permed short hairstyles to thick long braids/twists. so one of my coworkers decided to engage in a convo about hair when we were waiting for a session to end. this person asked me everything from "Is it my real hair?" to "How long does it take to do?" and (my favorite) "How often do you wash it?". was i offended? no, i was actually pleasantly surprised that anyone in the lab (other than the other Black woman)would ask me about my hair, let alone take an interest to get to know me (outside of work & education). i laughed and we decided that one day we should show each other photos of our hair-yesterdays. so this convo got me thinking about my journey thus far.

so how has my journey been so far?

lovely: i have a very unique hairstyle and it can be transformed from casual to chic to plain elegant. though i've not experimented as much as i probably should have, i've fallen in love with the way it looks just as it is in the morning.

exciting: my hair can look fab when i do it one way and when trying to mimic that same style, it may not come out like it had before. also, i can see the growth. i really love my long bangs, but it is about that time when i have to sweep them to the side.

confusing / frustrating: sore arms from retightening), snags, and accidentally combining two locks.

in short, kinda wonderful.

my 1st sisterlock gathering...

2007-07-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

surely you've already read about it on Maryee's blog, but.....

i finally met up with some fellow sisterlock bloggers. our very own Maryee, Sunsail & I swaped hair stories and curiosities. i got a last minute email from Sunsail inviting me to partake in some good convo and i was game for the late night rendez-vous. we proded through each other's hair and talked about the wonderful world of blogging. i learned that Maryee is a blog/internet/camera whiz and not just a beautiful head of locks and fabulous writer. and did i mention how wonderful she was with those chil'ren?!?! she is definitely a natural teacher and certainly a gift to any kid that sits in her class. Sunsail...oh Sunsail is so nice and exciting. she has the smallest locks i've seen in person, but then again they do remind me of the early stages of my locks when they were preparing to set. she too is one of the most beautiful people i've seen and her photos (especially the zany ones) really represent her very dynamic personality. i found myself babbling the entire car trip and gushing over the many stories we shared. also, i met lula (her new little all black poodle)?!?! she is so adorable that i had to plaster a smile on my face to keep from shedding a tear from the sheer cuteness and resemblance to my little baby. sunsail and i actually don't stay to far from each other and plan on meeting up again!

i had a good time and am looking forward to the next meet-up!

picture: Ayankha, Maryee, Sunsail (I set my hair in large Soft Spikes 2 days prior and my "bumbed" ends were trying to hold on, but could you tell it's a little hot & humid in MD)

my giiiiirlfriends...

2007-07-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

just wanted to send a big shot out to my 2 very dear friends. we've all been hanging out since undergrad. we became friends while in a research program together. we share a love of knowledge, all things natural, and pure fun. we all are natural (no weave, no perm, no straigtners), yet we each have our own distinct styles.

CL (Conquering Lioness) did the big chop in 2004 and majesticly wears a kinky afro. she shapes it up, keep an immaculate line, and works it professionally and definietly when it's time to cut loose. she was the first person to teach me some beauty secrets and was my unofficial consultant when it was time to go out. she also is a very free spirit and brings laughter and deep thought/analysis to all our conversations.

Kayvon has been confidently rocking the afro puff since forever. As you can see she has mastered the throwback classic quite elegantly. I just love how her hair forms the perfect puff! all through undergrad she was my academic role model making nearly perfect grades. and the cool thing is that she knows how to have a good time when we go out or travel somewhere... the total package.

then there's me, you all know my story. exactly 1.5 years sisterlocked, but extensions were covered my natural glory for many years. i now don't do or put much in my hair. and the result has been a very versitile style, reflecting my mood that day. i am a professional student (don't get it twisted, i'm matriculating nicely, just racking up many degrees).

The last time we all got together was on new years in 2006 (remember). I really miss getting a chance to hang with them since we live some ways away from each other. Now that CL has finished her MS degree and is the only true full-time "working woman", she has moved back South. Kayvon & CL are getting together soon (living only a few hours apart) and I hate that I am unable to make this gathering. Deadlines and work prevent the short trip, but soon enough we will get together and have a celebration. Kayvon will be graduating from med school this coming year (yes, she is almost officially quallified to answer my many questions about my various ailments) and we will definitely be doing it big then. I just wanted to take a little space out of this blog to highlight a dynamic trio that are all very proud to be natural and joined into a sisterly bond that gets stronger day after day.

family affair...

2007-07-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

As you all know, I’ve been preparing for a week-long “vacation” to La Louisiane for my sister’s wedding. I wrote out the happenings of the trip and soon realized that I had 5 pages. That's just way too long. So I've condensed it considerably.

Tuesday
Quite early that morning, I’m trying to close my 1 small suitcase and make sure that the contents in my large purse are in accordance with FAA regulations. Still with curlers in my hair and about 20 minutes to spare, I check my email. My flight was delayed an hour! Yippee! So I had enough time to double-check everything. I take the curlers out and was pleasantly surprised. I had a thick head of layers bumpin all around my head. So I put on my linen vest and jeans and was ready to go. I had to have on my easy to take off heels, though.

I go through my flights with incredible ease, and make it to New Orleans at 2pm. Now the plan was to drive from NOLA to Lafayette (Mom’s hometown), which takes almost 2 hours- no big deal. Without going into the gritty details, the rental car company put me through hell and back giving me flack for being under 25 (most charge an extra fee, thankfully I’m a government employee) and having only a debit/check card (I cut up those plastic devils long ago). So, 3 hours later, I had a cute Chevy Malibu and me and Stormy hit the road, like we used to do back in the day.Seeing my parents, grandmere, aunt, and little sister was great. We talked and tried to catch the BET awards, but opted to sleep because we knew that all the kids would be in tomorrow.

Wednesday
My hair is trying to hold up, considering I didn’t wrap it. But still has a cute little bump. My little sister and I mostly run errands while the kids are set to arrive at any moment. Once they make it down, it’s all about them, the three amigos- Nai Nai is 8, Ye Ye is 6, and Nys Nys is 2. They are the most hilarious bunch and I just love when they come around. It is just crazy how fast they grow. It had been 1 year since I saw them last and they had matured quite a bit.

Thursday
Off to Baton Rouge and my hair needs a little help. I brought my Carusos and bumped it a bit. It held surprisingly through most of the day. We checked in our hotel rooms and the other 2 children were already wired for FUN FUN FUN- JJ is 4 and Lani is 2. I am also JJ’s marraine (Godmother). I was surprised at how great my bebe’s locks had developed. My sister twists them regularly, and I had to recommend that she get her license once and for all. She can do all types of things to hair.

Friday
Time to get crackin with the preparation. My cousins, other sister, and remaining bridal party checked in and it was pure mayhem. I had to pick up Sogent from New Orleans and as soon as I returned last minute stuff was being worked on- souvenirs, decorations, dresses that needed to be altered. The rehearsal also went off pretty smoothly. By the evening, the guys went out and one of the rooms turned into a hair salon. Weaves were being sown in and locks were being re-tightened. It was fun, but I opted to help out with last minute souvenirs. So at 2 am, it was time for a much needed 3 hour nap.

Saturday
Wedding Day! There was much to be done. Getting kids ready and locating people to set up and delivering decorations was not easy. I was so busy making sure everyone else was ready, I had no time to do my own hair. Thankfully, my bestest friend, KAYVON, drove from MS to help and attend the festivities. She looked extremely cute in her silk dress and afro puff. Despite the cuteness, she got her hands dirty by pitching in and trying to make sure I was decent. I had about 20 minutes to get ready and we pulled it off rushing to the church. I had no time to do my hair. So I simulated the requirements that my sister gave by pinning the front with bobby pins. The wedding was running just 20 minutes late (you know most weddings do), and it was show time. My sister looked radiant and the men were sharp. We all held back tears because we knew one would spark us all. We beamed from ear to ear as vows were said and finally taking our holy communion. The church was very elaborate, built about 200 years ago.

The reception was in a huge hall and we partied like only my family knows how to party- we DANCED DANCED DANCED! And drank! It was so fun. We did: Second Line, Electric Slide, Cupid Shuffle (new dance), Zydeco, and Soul Train Line. By this time my feet (and everybody else’s) were in EXTREME pain from the shoes. My sister wanted to get a low heel to minimize the pain, but this is a good lesson to all- Low Heel ≠ No/Less Pain. I had red marks on my feet and my pinky toe felt raw. It was excruciating. So much so that I opted for Sogent’s flip flops. I wore them the entire reception, without any shame.

Sunday
My cousin decided to throw a Bar-B-Que for the newlyweds and family. We drove through a storm and by the time we crossed the bridge, it cleared and was sunny. It was pretty fun though the groom was severely dehydrated and had to go to the doctor. He was okay, though. It was almost midnight and my sister, her kids, and I were leaving on 6am flights to NOLA. We made it to the hotel at 1am.

Monday
By 4 am we were on the road rushing to make it to our flights. I dropped my sister and the three amigos at their terminal and had to take the rental back. I missed my flight, but was only charged a $25 fee to take the next one. Hey a small price to pay for tardiness. Me and Stormy headed back to the left coast on to a new adventure. This time we had to figure out how to get to my car which was parked at approximately 5 minutes away on a university campus. So I asked a guy standing by a taxi booth, he said Taxi ($23) or Supershuttle ($18) are my only options. Also, they both charged a fee of $5-10 because I had a pet (even in her carrier). I was infuriated because it was no more than 5 miles away and I thought those prices were exorbitant. Well, Sogent’s flight didn’t come in until 7pm and I had a few hours to spare. I had the money in my pocket, but you all know I can be a bit frugal: I just HAD to find a more efficient way to get home. Very comfy with the train and bus, I asked a girl if she had the number to B’more’s transit system, and I asked a rep and she directed me to the train and then a bus that ran right on campus. So me and Stormy loaded on to the light rail ($1.10) and waited 15 minutes for the bus ($1.60). The drop-off was exactly 3 minutes from my car. It took a little longer, but I got a chance to see B’more and had a great convo with an ex-navy man, who was very knowledgeable in his many years. It was well worth the $2.70!!!!

It was a very fun trip and I will never forget it. It is funny how getting together can be so exhausting, yet when it’s all said and done, you look forward to the next time.

A FEW PICTURES!

I don't have many pictures because most of the time I was running around trying to help in any way I could. The official pictures have not been sent, but we had our good ole digitals handy for a few of the events.

The sisters- yes, there are 5 women. I'm really not that short, I just don't have on my heels.

I caught the bouquet!!! Thanks to the help of Sogent's slippers... those wedding shoes were excruciating- not one person in the bridal party had them on midway through the reception

My baby was even looking like a little lady!

The two youngest show off their hair! See thick hair continues to run from generation to generation.

CONGRATS TO THE BRIDE & GROOM!

a lil interview...

2007-06-15T05:22:00.000-07:00

so on bygbaby's blog i saw his interview and asked if i could be interviewed. i knew he'd ask some really good questions. thanks so much bygbaby! so, here goes nothing....

1. In your high school senior year did you win a mock election (best smile, class clown) if so what & if not what should you have won & why ?
LOL. I didn't win anything! I probably should have won the most likely to lock my hair. Also, most likely to still be in school during the 10-year reunion.

2. If you were a single scoop of ice cream & the man of you dreams had to eat you, what flavor would you be?
LOL. Hmmmm I would be Thick Chocolate Brownie Chunk- Rich (in Spirit), Filling & Flavorful!

3. Who would you choose to have dinner between Malcolm X, Assata Shakur, or Al Sharpton if you had the chance & why come?
Woah...Umm, Assata Shakur because her book (autobiography) was one of the first books I read and actually enjoyed. Plus, I skipped 1st period gym class to complete it in the 10th grade - a slap in the face to my health behavior research career now.

4. In 6 words or less how do you feel about the current state of hip-hop & rap.
Imbalanced, but I'm an undercover booty-shaker!

5. What are your 3 favorite topical website or blogs do you visit religiously?
concreteloop.com
calorieking.com (for work and leisure)
woot.com

-----------------------------------------------------------------
If you are interested in being interview by ayankha, here are the guidelines:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
6. 5 is my limit.

confessions of an undercover hip hop booty-shaker...

2007-06-15T04:24:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged again! Thanks Shanessence. However, instead of answering the tag I with the 5 unknown facts about me, I am doing an interview by Bygbaby. Very ironically, I had this post sitting in blogger but was debating whether or not to post it. I decided to put up this post because 1) i enjoyed writing it (as I was dancing and listening to the music, 2) it'll help explain what I meant in my answer, and 3) just thought I'd keep it "real funky" with y'all (see bygbaby you inspire me as well).

oh yeah- this post is not to any person or any post or article in paticular. just musings of my own.
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so much has occured that has contributed to a grand back lash on hip hop music recently. and don't get me wrong, some of the songs out there are pretty terrible, but it is something about some of the the more criticized songs that will always remind me of the good ole days when i would dance so hard that my press would turn into a big ole afro. it is so funny that some of the very people that look at hip hop with disdain nowadays were the very ones that were "face down..." back in 1992 when Luke was challenging his 5th amendment right....moreover, i bet there are quite a few "now-prudish" folks that can finish that line. lol. seriously though, i'm really trying to analyze this situation that hip hop has gotten into with a clear head but when i hear the beat to "doo doo brown" i can't help but to bounce to the beat (even if sitting down) or if i hear "lean wit it, rock wit it" i get an overwhelming desire to start snappin and shakin my head. okay, yeah this is mostly at home... but, am i one of those heathen girls that disrespects herself??? ha, hardly! i do not feel like i am disrespecting myself or my momma for that matter. i feel like it's okay to celebrate your body and have a good time sometimes. i remember the parties that we used to go to and throw in the backyard that was complete with a dj spinning the latest bootyshake records. the energy flowing through the crowd was merriment as well as a celebration of just being alive. while i just love to dance and admit that there are just some songs out there that i down right refuse to dance to, a catchy hook and dope beat over comes my body and i get the urge to dance. so here goes nothing:

i, ayankha, am a booty-shaker!!!!

when there is so much pressure to be anti hip-hop these days, i get frustrated. these "booty-shake" songs are simply one type contained within a genre of music that is quite diverse, as may be the case in many other genres (rock, reggae, jazz, etc). i can't deny a part of me that i have learned to appreciate greatly and enjoy.

yes, i wish that the misogyny will cease. of course, there is a grave imbalance in what is being played on the radio and television to represent the realm of hip hop. but, hopefully somewhere in between "healing itself" hip hop will still inspire me to be critical, speak/act out against injustice, love being Black, and oh yeah, have some fun. i am still loving the many faces of hip hop and i doubt it will ever stop. so, here's one for everyone...

SHAKE WHAT YA MOMMA GAVE YA!

**picture is of me getting my groove on when my lil sis came to visit... i'm dancing to "buy you a drink" by t-pain in the work-out outfit i only wear in the house (hence, the blur).

hair down to there...

2007-05-24T18:24:00.000-07:00

okay y'all, i have not re-tightened my hair in a while, which has not pestered me much. during this phase there have been several women to say that my hair looks good. i absolutely love the compliments, but... many of these women begin by asking one of the most annoying questions...

"so, how long have you been growing your hair like that?" OR "how long you been growing your dreds?"

okay, let me start off by saying that i know that they are not trying to be rude and i am not trying to take it there. but it is so annoying for me to hear this question over and over again. my interpretation is that it seems to imply that i am seeking to have hair down to my booty (like we used to say in elementary) rather than enjoy the short natural (nappy) hair that i've got. i could really give a damn if my hair stayed this length...i LOOOVE my hair this short because i can create funky styles that really compliment my personality. i'm sure that when it does grow longer (which i can be quite certain that it will because i am a little on the hairy side), i will then discover new ways to design it and LOOOVE it. BUT...until then, i'm gonna keep loving this length and rocking the hell out of it. i may decide to keep it short... who knows? i just get a little bothered by this preoccupation with desire of long hair. so, if you are reading my blog and you discover that you are one of those people who may phrase an innocent inquiry like this, it may be more non-annoying to ask "how long have you been locked?"...IMHO.

**disclaimer: I am not rude to those that ask this question...I am truly flattered by their compliments and I encourage them to make a natural transition, if that's the vibe I get from them.

----------------------------------------------------

i see that a few of us bloggers are doggie owners. and if you travel and want to bring your dog along, you know how crazy this can be. well, next month i will be attending my sister's wedding in Lousiana! Cayenne (my sister due to her fiery personality and reddish color hair she had when we were young), is the mother of my little locked godson and sassy niece. my other nieces will also be coming in from CA and all the children LOOOVE my doggie Stormy Weather. so, since i probably will not be visiting Cali this summer, it was only appropriate for me to bring my baby to the wedding/family reunion. they all know how i am attached to her plus moving to this new city, i am kinda weary about sending her to someone else let alone a kennel. thankfully, the hotel we are staying at is a dog-friendly one :). But, before worrying about a hotel...there is the issue of which airlines' pet fee!!! this will be her 3 time flying with me and it hit me that i need to make a list of prices and begin my bargain shopping. so from my desk wall to the computer, here goes the information i dug up:

AirTrans: $65

American Airlines: $80

Continental: $95

Delta: $50

Northwest: $80

US Airways: $80

*These prices are ONE WAY. So, you must multiply by 2 and you have the round trip fare

**Some airlines put a limit on how many pets can be in the cabin, so call and reserve a spot ASAP

***These are just for domestic flights.

So, I am sure you all know which one I went with!!!! But this is only because 1. I am a Frequent Flyer and 2. I lucked up and found one of their cheaper tickets anyway. Like I said earlier, I had to call and reserve a space for my baby and I discovered that my flight was being operated by another carrier...which was substantially more money. So I got on the phone and after much debating and 1.5 hours later, they traded my flight for one that was on Delta and had room for pets. Delta only allows 2 pets per cabin. So if booking with them, you may want to reserve EARLY. Also, I was informed that American allows UNLIMITED pets, which was refreshing but kinda scary in a Snakes-on-the-plane kinda way. Hopefully this info will help someone avoid the usual drama when traveling with a pet. Also, this website lists other websites (under "Pet Articles") that may make traveling with a pet easier:

petcetera.com

babies...

2007-05-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

okay it seems like there must be something in the water: many of the women i know are popping up pregnant! i must say to twoisland girl, big congrats on your news! i was taking one of my last final exams and looked to my left and right and 2 girls had bellies poking through their shirt- both due in july! how come i had not noticed this before? they both looked extremely happy and i ain't mad at that! it just seems like everybody's getting pregnant. i guess there are a number of factors that play into this perspective: i pass through pediatrics everyday while walking to my building at work, my coworker has just returned from maternity leave, my best friend is working the ob-gyn rotations in this stage of medical school and she always thrills me with a slimey tale or two. it is bad enough that i watch almost all the TLC/Discovery shows for mommies (Baby Story, Birth Day, Yummy Mummy, First 48 hours) when I report for half day at work. but in my "real life" babies and thangs are much more interesting. am i at that point in life when friends and everyone begins to have babies and get married? well, it didn't really hit me until i attended my friend's baby shower. "Radiant Gong" is one of the few friends that i made while in Birmingham (most of my friends I made in undergrad). we stayed with the same Jamaican family for our interns and both have a love for dancing and reggae and FUN! she is the epitome of goodnes, positivity, and liveliness. she has such a positive spirit that you can't help but to smile and feel special around her. we'd go to dance clubs and rock it! needless to say, she is probably the most positive people i know & love being around. she moved up here to DC around the same time, but we hadn't gotten a chance to hang out. i was reading one of my old email accounts and there it was... the link to her baby's website!!! complete with her statement of having a mid-wife guide her throught the very natural labor!!! so, of course i had to find out when the baby shower was and it was on!!!!

i hadn't seen her for quite some time before I left Bham and there she stood natural (long, beautiful flowing locks), radiant, and ALL BELLY! you could tell she really took good care of herself (not to mention she had much help from her amazing partner). the couple welcomed everyone in (even those of us extremely late...darn DC traffic) and we ate all sorts of vegan goodies and even got henna! it was one of the best baby bashes i have been to. i guess having a baby isn't quite as scary or weird as i previously thought... she makes pregnancy look and sound so cool! still, it'll be some time before i consider that path for myself, but it is so refreshing to see women so happy about having a baby. CONGRATS RADIANT GONG!

a perfect night...

2007-05-14T15:05:00.000-07:00

as i reported last time i was going to a concert. wondering who it was...... Stephen Marley, Jr. Gong Marley, and K'NAAN!!!! i am finally in a city that hosts concerts, well good ones at least! this was one of the last stops on the "mind control tour". initially, i was going to go to the performance here in dc, but it was the night of one of my finals and the night before a big one. then i had to choose between Philly and Baltimore. since Baltimore is closer (roughly 45 minutes away), we decided to go there.

the venue...

ram's head live is a "house of blues"-type of club that sits on the harbor in b'more. that part of the city is absolutely beautiful. it was surrounded by all types of stores. everything was bright and lively! so much so that i didn't gripe about the $12 parking garage fee (well, technically I didn't pay, Sogent lived up to his name). the only disappointment i had about the venue is the restriction of cameras (which i know is pretty normal), but during the performances there was a million flashes. dang, the one time i should have bended the rules!

oh yeah one more disappointment, you gotta stand the whole time and you must arrive early to get a good standing place. luckily, my 5-inch heels were surprisingly comfy (even through all the dancing), but standing for a few hours just plain sucks. obviously, i looove heels (quite opposite of my friend Cluizel). but i am only working with a 5' 1.5" frame...so the higher, the better.

before the opening act...

me and Sogent got there 30 minutes before the performance was "supposed" to start, but you all know how many concerts go, let alone reggae concerts. so we waited for an additional 30 minutes and made friends with surrounding couples. everyone was pretty nice. even to the point where one gentleman let me and Sogent stand in the front for the opening act (K'Naan), the one i had basically come to see. they all looked to be in their late 30's to mid 40's... one woman said she had a kid in college in AL. when that was said, i definitely knew i was the youngster out of the group. sometimes that sucks because the conversations generally go to careers, kids, houses, and other "grown up" subjects in which i have NONE- i am a professional student, no kids, no house, but i have lots of fun and debt. lol. i am not too phased though, Sogent is 10 yrs my senior and i will say that he has definitely "upgraded" me. i just love to see him talk and engage everyone, but i definitely can hold my own.

**this picture is actually where we stood, on the second tier, left of the stage**

the opening act was MY headliner...
K'naan is a powerful lyricist from Mogadishu, Somali. i came to learn about him when he did a collaboration with M1 from Dead Prez called "till we get there" and then saw his first video called "Soobax" while i was in Jamaica. it was so catchy and every time it came on i was mesmerized. i wrote down his name and i then searched for his other work when i got to the states (you gotta pay for internet most places in JA). i got his album and have been hooked ever since. on youtube there are many songs and performances he did on the "welcome to jamrock tour" (i am so hurt that i didn't hear about it when it was going on) and with Mos Def. anyway, he came on stage with 2 drummers and tore it up. he did ALL of my favorites! i was so excited... i yelled and jumped and belted out the key lyrics. it was crazy because i seemed to have been the ONLY person who knew the songs, let alone words (besides the few lyrics Sogent has picked up as a result of me playing his music constantly). but that was not a big deal because he gives such an excellent performance that you can truly feel the vibe of the songs. In the beginning, Until the lion learns to speak, What's Hardcore, and Soobax a few of my favorites that he performed and the crowd really vibed to. some of his lyrics include Somali language, and yes i even knew those words. i have really taken to the language and am now trying to learn it fully, along with Amharic (thanks to the many Ethiopians that greet me using Amharic thinking I am from there). anyway, K'naan had a strong presence throughout the performance and maintained it all the way to the last song. me and Sogent danced, laughed, and embraced during the entire performance. this is definitely one of those moments i will never forget.

***pic: K'Naan, the self-proclaimed "Dustyfoot Philosopher***

intermission...
after K'naan, we grabbed a bite to quell the 2 rum & cokes (wink wink Brunsli, i am also a diet coke fan, but usually take regular coke when alcohol is in it). while our new buddies held a spot for us, we took some time to sit at the bar and quickly eat our food before the next session. i had to run the the restroom and decided to leave my purse with Sogent because there was no place to put down my clutch bag in the stalls. to my surprise there was a girl on his right and another on his left. i am extremely secure in our relationship, so i wasn't phased and went right up to him to re-take the seathe had been saving for me. as i walked up i heard the end of the the honey blond traditionally-locked girl "left her purse with you...". so i smiled at her as i leaned in to take my purse and wrap my self around my man. the long stringy-haired brunette immediately walked away, but blondie locks smiled nervously and got outta my way after she complimented my locks, told me she had been growing hers for 5 years, and let me know that i was a queen. this was so bizarre cuz she seemed to be a bit nervous. sfter she left, Sogent told me she had said that she being a "sista with dreadlocks" could take him from his girl who was foolish not to be by his side the whole time. LOL, this girl was crazy! i guess she was surprised that i had locks too. i am so thankful that i am not the crazy, jealous type AND that i have a GREAT guy, who dares anyone (man, woman, or child) to disrespect me. women are always coming on to him (sometimes knowing he is in a relationship), but i actually find it quite flattering and saddening at the same time. flattering, because that just reaffirms that i have a great guy. and saddening, because there are some women out there willing to settle for being the mistress or pure sex buddy.

***pic: sogent coming home from work. as for me, can't you tell i am lovin the carusos***

it's not over until the Marleys shut it down...
ready for the next round, me and Sogent made our way to our places and danced and jumped to Stephen & Jr. Gong rock the place! their whole set was one surge of energy. at one point EVERYONE in the place was jumping synchronously to the music. after each did a few songs from both of their most recent albums (mind control and welcome to jamrock- love em both), they payed homage to their father by performing some of his hits. this was the BEST part because EVERYONE knew the lyrics and the level of noise was incredible. Sogent bounced while i winded my body quite vigorously. of all the performances i've been to, this was definitely THE LIVEST! our section was so into it, that at one point Stephen came over and saluted us-- even if he did that to every section, which i didn't notice, it was special for us--the mark or a true showman. Jr. Gong also brought down the house with his knee-length locks swinging everywhere. it was purely a good time.

***Jr. Gong & Stephen Marley***

you ain't gotta go home...
well, yes i did! me and Sogent had to go to work the next day so we made our way to the booth to get some souvenirs (just a K'Naan tee-shirt and his live CD). Sogent made me feel like it was my birthday! by this time, i was feeling the sleep-inducing effects of the rum and dancing. i slept the whole way back ( i am usually a better front seat passenger) and was carried to the door with my souvenirs in hand. a good end to the perfect evening.

a night of poetry & passing out...

2007-05-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

okay as you all may know, i had almost a 2 week span of finals! well in between this agonizing time, one of the few comforts was my sister coming into town to perform poetry and promote her book @ various signings. she was only here for 2.5 days, but it was a very busy.

on the night of her first "appearance" i had 1 of the 2 finals for dreadful statistics. i usually love stats but the way it is taught at my hbcu is that it focuses on theory, thus we do hand calculations to practical problems. i can appreciate and maybe even admire what they are trying to instill in us, but it is frustrating to get on the famous spss program and not know how to work it (theoretically, because i am pretty proficient having used this program many times over prior to attending this univ). instead i gotta take all damn day to do what this computer does in .23 seconds. well, the test started at 5pm and i didn't get out of the test until 9:20pm! my sister's set began at 9:30pm. so i had to make a dash for the subway, which was luckily relatively close to the stop. but of course when i get there the next train will not arrive for another 12 minutes. at least that gave me some time to lotion my feet and put on my high heels. by the time i got to the cafe (roughly 10:15pm). she was in the middle of doing her poetry. and boy was she on FIRE! i walked in on a new poem "fat black a$$". i don't know if i was just happy to see my big sis riping that mic apart or if it was the delight of many black folks' truth coming out. either, or, or both, i was glad to have been there. her set ended with my favorite poem "Orisa in the ghetto" and that was the cherry on top. after the set, a group of my folks stayed behind and talked and watched her sign copies of her book. the group included Sogent (my bf), amazon princess (my 6 ft tall cuz), hometown (family long time friend) & his girlfriend, and her publisher. we laughed and talked for a looong time and finally the time had come for us to finally get some rest... there was work and other festivities planned for the next day.

the next day, i had to attend a departmental symposium. it was perfect that my sis was going because she has a B.A. in psychology. but we got there at 2:30pm and it was over! the poster said over at 5pm, but i guess they closed up shop earlier. so we decided to spend the afternoon to check out the african art museum! we got a couple of glances in a caught up with each other-a perfect afternoon, except for all the darn walking! now, i like my fitness and everything, but i am always walking somewhere. she felt the burn as we had to ascend up countless hills to get to my apartment. we then had to scramble to be on time to her next event.

this event was an author's forum called "talk dc". it is for new, underground authors (mostly around dc). it was at this very elegant historic hotel. having worked in hospitality, i can say that the charm this little hotel had was better than any huge, big-name hotel i had ever been in. me and Sogent dropped he off so she wouldn't be late while we looked for a parking space (dc traffic is rated #2 after L.A.-still wondering why i prefer to not drive to work and then school in dc). since spring has come i have developed allergies for the first time in my life, which is odd because i survived MS pollen, LA moisture/overall dankness, and LA smog without so much as a sneeze. thanks DC (very sarcastically)! since i could not go another minute with the scratchy throat, Sogent took me to the nearby shoppe and bought me some benedryl. now i said i would wait o take it when we got to the bar (MISTAKE #1). we were immediately greeted and ushered into the intimate "blue bar". i decided that a cosmopolitan would be the perfect drink to wash down these allergy pills and soothe my scratchy throat in the meantime (MISTAKE #2). the cosmo was one of the best and i just had to have another after gulping the first one down (MISTAKE #3--I'm OUT!). After 2 sips of the second drink, I began floating! I became extremely sleepy, but I made my self sit tight until my sister delivered her book summary.

Once again, she took that mic and completely rocked the description of her book and our background. the crowd seemed to have loved it! however that largely republican, upper-echelon crowd shifted after she bravely read one of her poems about bush & connie rice. most of the men in their business suits complete with an understated expensive chronographs and the women in their designer dressers drenched in designer perfume sat in their seats with an uncomfortable jeer on their face. PRICELESS! needless to say, not too many people came to speak to her afterward. but, by that time i was messed up!

i did not know that is the result of alcohol & allergy pills. okay, okay maybe i should have read the back of that tiny packet, but i am new to this whole medicine thing. hmm, maybe i should have done that when i was recovering from my wisdom teeth being taken out.. just kidding! let me stop before you all think i have a drug problem. well, this discovery was not pleasant because i almost fell down the carpeted stairs and fell asleep while in the hotel's bathroom. i am just glad no one saw all that (i do have some shred of dignity even in drunkenness to not appear so). after all this i quietly asked Sogent to usher me to the car, where i slept until we made it home. i've learned my lesson and know now that following instructions is key! i am happy to report that i am now claritin clear and it is wonderful, no drowsiness at all!

my sister left the next morning on a 6am flight. and because i had g0tten a good rest, i volunteered to take her. long story short, i got lost and ended up in the woods of virginia! i hate that exit from reagan international. it took me 2 hours to get home (usually a 25 minute drive). when i got there, i was off to take another nap- time to just rest myself.

just thought i'd fill you in on some of the interesting things that happened to me while i was away

blog sabbatical...

2007-05-10T04:26:00.000-07:00

sorry everyone, i've been taken over by final projects and final exams for the past few weeks. i was determined to finish strong and i think i pulled it off. i will try to reply to comments that have gone unanswered in the next week. this summer looks like it will be somewhat relaxing because there are no grad classes offered over the summer (!) but i do have a few things to do this summer:
continue to work,
finish 1st year project,
develop Master's proposal (yes, i have to do another)
attend my sister's wedding (you know that means helping out a great deal when you are family)
TRAVEL!!! (still don't know exactly where)

this sunday i will be attending a concert with my a few of my favorite artists. i haven't been to a concert in a long time and am looking forward to this one. i have so many posts to complete. i also will be posting about my uneventful hair progression, which is a good thing. so, look out for them soon.

ole virginny...

2007-04-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

i debated many times over about whether or not i was going to say anything about the recent virginia tech "massacre". but i just had to since it is being discussed everywhere i turn...even in class, especially class.

first i must say, my condolences goes out to ALL the families and friends that are dealing with the deaths of loved ones (even those of the cho seung-hui, especially them). to lose someone you love is hard to deal with, period.

the initial reporting of this incident had all types of lobbyists coming out the wood works...those against violent video games and those who are anti-gun were the top 2 by far. it was interesting to see how each one put their own spin on the causes of cho's behavior. as you all may know, i am in the psychological field, and to see all these "analysts" get on television and make all types of quick assumptions was headache inducing. it can be a bit frustrating to hear hasty causal conclusions , especially when studying research methods. and i will not get into the prevention aspect of it (whoowee). we discussed this topic and to this day no one really knows. yeah, there may be a few similar characteristics that mass murderers share, but with prevention in mind, other than reporting suspicious behavior, there is not a lot one could do to predict (validly & reliably) who, when, where, why, and how.

this leads me to another annoyance...there has to be blame on someone or something for not doing a good enough job preventing this freak occurrence. the school, the school counselors, the teachers, the other students??? this is ridiculous. that's like blaming the someone for not preventing the first murders. if there wasn't a gun, if there was a school announcement, if there wer'nt people at the school!!! it is such freak occurrence that a trend to pick up on for prevention is very hard. you don't think so... well how about every shy, quiet person be referred to the school psychologist? it was unfortunate, very unfortunate, but hard to predict (and prevent).

well amongst the many things that bothered me about the people getting on television running their mouths and not saying anything, the anti-gun folks bothered me the most. all across the world this the notion that people should not have guns has been echoed over and over. i've heard too many stories and seen too many stats favoring abolishing guns. i will not make this into a rant because you all know how i feel about guns from my previous tagged post. i have not changed my stance, and as unfortunate as this situation was, i do not ever plan on giving up my right to own a firearm. i prefer to have the opportunity/chance to protect myself against those that are like this shooter.

anyway, another thing that bothered me was the lack of coverage given to the parents of the shooter. they are from around here and i have yet to hear a comment or see an interview of the grief they are going through. one reporter said that they were going to talk to "the most devastated family". first i thought "how the heck do you determine who is the most devastated?" then thought, "it must be the shooter's family". WRONG! it was one of the other students. i am sure that cho's family are going through major grief. to discover that your child has gone on a rampage and you think you've raised him decently has got to be a huge shock and devastation. what is one to do? i imagine it is hard to grieve over the loss of your child when 1. he did such a terrible thing 2. you may know him as a different (dare i say loving) person during the several points of his life 3. people may blame you for your child's behavior. no one has acknowledged their grief and my heart goes out to them because i imagine that this time maybe confusing with the conflict of emotions.

i just wanted to take some time to acknowledge what has happened and just a few thoughts that have crossed my mind this week. i purposely made this post short (shorter than it i could have made it). so, please don't leave long critical commentary about what i could have said and what i should not have said. also no comments about trying to sway my position on gun control, save your words for someone you could actually persuade. not to be mean, but please respect my requests and my space.

vh1's line up...

2007-04-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

okay, i'm at home (still recovering from my wisdom teeth extraction) and decided that through the pain in my swollen jaw, i should say something about the craziness i saw last night. for those of you who are not into television or junk programs (yall know who you are) this post may be unfamiliar to you.

well, last night was the reunion of i love new york. to catch some up...this is the girl from flavor of love that made it to the final 2 twice and did NOT get chosen. vh1 gave her her own show with men competing to date her. well, as stated from a previous post, i think these shows are garbage, but damn my sick curiosity for wanting to watch. i had been doing okay, but vh1 seemed to have had a 2 week marathon of all the shows. so, i tuned in. on the finale, out of all the bafoons she shocked everyone and did not pick chance, the one which was clearly her "equal" (both mentally & physically). she went with the decent guy (well, as decent as it could get on this show). and at the end, he proposed to her.

well on the reunion show, when they met up (after being apart for 4 months & watching the show air) the crap hit the fan. he had not only witnessed her being a total b*tch about him proposing to her (she was very hesitant & her and her extremely unattractive mom said the ring was too small) but he also witnessed her talking very harshly about his mom (saying she was big & old). so he respectfully told her the engagement was off. he said he did not like new york (the performer), but was willing to get to know tiffany (the real girl).

i thought that he was classy for doing it that way. he could have said many disparaging this about her but he chose the high road and put his mom first. that was probably the best part of the whole series for me. at least one person seemed like he had some sense. so i just had to say big up to tango. and not to bash the girl because i can see she is just a product of her mom's senselessness, but WTF is up with the big fake boobs. i am soo not against plastic surgery, but yuck! she should have gone a few sizes smaller. those thangs are completely overpowering her little frame.

if that wasn't enough reality show for you then, mo'nique's charm school premiere was up next. this is a show where the girls compete for $50k towards their dream. in this competition, mo'nique guides them through challenges to help them become "ladies". FINALLY something that is halfway sensible, although my first thought was MO'NIQUE???..the loud woman who regularly calls other women b*tches...what he heck does she know about etiquette? but maybe she is a totally different person when it comes to business? don't get me wrong i like mo and i've heard her on the radio a few times and i think she is sincere and nice. but i was still surprised. in comparison, i guess she is a jump up from these silly women. anyway, this show seems to be a lot better than those others. one of the first things and maybe the most significant thing that happened is that she striped their nicknames off of them- removing them from those horrible characters they were from flavor of love. but we all know that that isn't done in one segment. i do like the fact that she shows them that acting a dang fool on television is not a good look at all. i will most probably try to keep up with this show since it at least was a baby step in the right direction. but i will admit, there is a loooong way to go.

this time it's about hair...

2007-04-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

okay i finally used my nappy locs tool. first i must say that i was impressed by the presentation. it came in this cute little bag. and i gotta say that, i am not prone to losing this tool due to the cute little baggie. second, it came super-fast. i think in 2 days. third, how did it go... well it seems like it did not significantly cut down on the time it took to do my hair (roughly 20 hours over 3 days). however, it was way more comfortable to use, and it did cut back on the snags. about snags...i absolutely hate to get them but every now and again it happens (i would say maybe 20 in doing my whole head). but one was kinda bad. so i decided to use scissors...bad idea. next thing i know, SNIP! initially i didn't know where it came from, but after setting my hair in carusos 2 days later, i found it. (sorry i didn't have my camera). me and sogent were on our way to a party and i was fluffing my hair and there it was. not noticeable at all. i guess thick hair does have its advantages. my camera needs new batteries, so again sorry-- i really wanted to take some pics. so, advice to those considering the tool: it is a great tool. and that's all it is: a tool, not a miracle maker.

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okay, it's not ALL about hair...

well, as most of you know, i love research. i also love giving up-and-coming folks a chance. i figure, someone gave me a chance at research and i hope to help someone else gain experience (did i also mention it also saves some me some money?). with that said, i get my teeth attended to by a very promising dental student at my grad institution. she is very thorough, intelligent, and extremely attentive. i feel like i have THE BEST future doctor working on my grill (and for those that don't know me well, i can be kinda obsessive about teeth). so far she has cleaned my teeth (cleaner than i could have ever imagined virtually without pain) and diagnosed me with a few upgrades to my existing fillings (okay, maybe that was a bit TMI, but if it is you may want to stop reading this particular post...it gets worse). well, part of the diagnosis was my wisdom teeth being removed. now she does not do that part, it is done in the hospital. it is a teaching hospital, but an experienced doctor does the actual work. one of my initial concerns was those big ole things causing me a little pain over the past 4 years. so i was all for it, even when they said i would have to pay $150 to be put to sleep (a price that was well worth it in my eyes--see, i'm not frugal all the time). as time got closer to the date, i became more and more nervous. i talked about not getting it done to my entire family. i even tried to sabotage it by trying to get sick and rationalizing why i did not need them out after all. well, sogent convinced me stick to it and boy was it a ride. my nerves were so bad they had to give me a little drugs before they even began.

<--[my nervous smile on the way to the hospital (& a memory of my smile just in case something went wrong.]

another thing about me, i do not care for drugs much. for example, i hate to take tylenol or headache medicine. i'd prefer tea and other natural remedies. so this drug they gave me (i am unsure exactly what it was) made me want to snatch that IV out of my hand and walk out of that room. all my senses seemed to go haywire and my flight sense was winning. well, all i remember is hearing the doc joke about me being a light-weight and suddenly someone was telling me to open my eyes...it was over.

what???? hold up, i wasn't even aware that i had even gone to sleep. now that i think about it that was some scary stuff. that time is completely gone outta of my life's memory. that is how i know i can't do hardcore drugs, i don't really want to miss nothing in my life. but i guess some people feel like some things are bad enough to banish it from memory. ANYWAY, back to my grill. i had mounds of gauze and no feeling in my lower jaw/lip. it was kinda wonderful (except for the lack of communication). i felt calm and didn't notice how hard it was to close my mouth, swallow, and stop drooling. well, the doc instructed me to take the prescribed hardcore pain killer as soon as i got home...before the real drugs wore off. well, i don't live very close to the hospital and when i started to feel my lower lip tingling, i knew (even in my drugged state) that it was gonna be a bumpy ride. i was sooooo right. for the next 8 hours, i proceeded to experience the worst pain and incessant bloody drool. sparing you all further disgusting details, my gentleman took care of me. i am so glad he has such a beautiful mind (and a degree in biology). he did a little doctoring of his own (but also subsequently confirmed it with the hospital) and i was feeling great. a little high, but great. i am now only swollen on one side and i refuse to take pics. i am amazed how even looking how i do (which is not great, just take my word for it) he makes me feel so pretty. we just celebrated our one year anniversary (can you believe it's been one year already; remember), but that is a whole other post. i am still recovering and swollen. i just hope that it clears in time for work and school. this is just not a good look... despite my sogent's adoration. my position on drugs has changed just a bit: i take mine quite faithfully and they have been wonderful. i still experience a little pain. they knock me out so hard that i do not wake in time to take the next dose. but it is so great when i am out. even through the pain, i am glad that i got it done, so i now i don't have to worry about those things causing me an occasional pain.

oh yeah, the liquid/soft diet... i've been sticking to it rather well. jello, yogurt, and campbell's select gold soup...yum, yum. the soup was the biggest surprise. i didn't think it was gonna be that good. but it is amazing. my absolute favorite is the golden butternut squash. i haven't weighed my self, but i am quite sure that i've lost some weight. so far, i've consumed less than 700 calories (no cals on day one...too much pain). not the healthiest way to lose, but i was looking for something to jump start the process especially since i will be attending a pool party soon. the diet is not all that bad, but i can't lie: i can sure go for a huge turkey burger right now. i am gonna behave so this swelling can go down. but when it does, it's on. i gotta give it to the vegetarians of the world.

BTW- what was up with the spring snow? i wanted to post about it a while back, but had no time. the rain is pouring now...perfect weather to stay under the covers!

a lil nappy head gal must give her two cents...

2007-04-10T18:13:00.000-07:00

i am sure by now you all have heard about the radio guy don imus calling the women's basketball team at rutgers "nappy headed hoes". if not, it goes a lil something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyKB63oPeGw

all the news stations have covered this. but i never heard the broadcast in full and this is what i've stumbled on (gotta love youtube):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui1jPNDWArM

well, my attempts to avoid the news was certainly broken when i heard this story. as a self-proclaimed and very proud nappy headed gal, i immediately took intrigue to this dreadful story. however, what intrigued me is that i am still unsure if people are more mad about the fact that they were repeatedly called "hos" or that they were called "nappy headed". they were called all types of hos ("rough hos" and "hardcore hos"), but the outrage and attention seems to be directed towards the "nappy headed" qualifier. this is interesting because if you continue to listen to the broad cast one of those guys (not sure if it was imus or producer) even cited a spike lee movie "do the right thing" (i assume because that's what he said) and said it was like the "jiggaboos vs the wannabes" (referring to the rutgers women as the jiggaboos--i assume). come on, where is the outrage for that? i find that it people seem to be more offended when a disrespectful statement attacks hair.

who says hair is not an issue? i also saw a few clips of the women's press conference, and i must say that it is more interesting that all the players (okay, the coach too) was sure to make certain that the naps were not visible (through press or perm). did the nappy headed qualifier strike a cord throughout black america that many don't want to talk about?

i am in no way trying to take the heat off of imus AND the other guys. he was completely wrong and it was definitely not funny. i think that it was very inappropriate to discuss those hard working student-athletes in that extremely disrespectful manner. i was more offended that he would refer to them as hos and jiggaboos. didn't anybody hear that? does anyone else not get the very deep seeded racial undertones (more like overtones) in that comparison? dark-skinned, nappy headed jiggaboos vs the fair skinned pretty wannabees (wanna be like who? think about it).

i usually hate to get into politics and what other folks say, but this was so offensive to me on so many levels. one other sour cord that was struck is part of his justification: they hear it in rap songs and black men demeaning them all the time. WTF! So that gives him the right to say such ignorant things? as you all may know i am very passionate about rap (in fact i have a post that's been sitting in blogger for over a month about hip hop-i've been meaning to scan pics along with the post). admittedly, there is a lot of garbage that is calling itself rap, but that does not define the entire genre. furthermore, i absolutely hate it when people frequently cite black men that disrespect women. i can say that most black men i have had (and will continue to have) the pleasure of knowing, meeting, loving, and befriending have been very respectful not only to me, but to most other black women. so, all i gotta say that he is all the way wrong for that crazy justification.

this incident stands to challenge folks that say "it's only hair". apparently it is not. also, it should definitely give us something to think about. not only lending thought to this issue, but also action on the part of black women (natural hair or not) that refuse to stand for disrespect.

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i just woke up to espn (sogent knows this drives me crazy) and stuart scott was on the show giving his opinion about imus being fired. he is the very first person to address the "nappy headed" portion of the statement saying that imus used something that he is proud of and describes nearly an entire race to offend and that is just not funny. he said that it also may suggest deepseeded racism. he even addressed imus' justification about these words being used by other blacks. stuart scott said that for the SOME people that use these words, it is a different context. plus that speaks to blacks taking the power out of those words. i could not get quotes (still kinda early) but that is my loose interpretation of how the short interview went. i agreed with much mr. scott said and i was very glad to see that he weighed in on the "controversy".

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another update: i got on the train this morning to read the free daily "express" and it was mentioned in there. in fact, one of the opinion editiors (eugene robinson) addresses one person's comment about being more mad about the "nappy headed" part. i guess hair continues strikes a cord with black folks... a good solution, IMHO: as joanne cornwell says, "come on home".

spring break...

2007-03-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

okay, i am now out of my little break from blogging. first, i must say thanks to everyone for their feedback about my last post. i really appreciate every one's encouragement and thoughts on that "sensitive" topic. i'm sure there are many more to come.

well, as most of you know i am still in school and spring break just passed... my little sister is in undergrad and came to visit me in DC for nine days. unfortunately, i still had to work and attend a psychological conference in the city that same week. that was probably one of the busiest weeks of my life, but time flies when you're having fun.

so much occurred and i will try to be as succinct as possible:

before my sister was to arrive, me and sogent came home to a patio full of trash. a neighbor from a higher floor threw crap right out of her balcony! we weren't the only one's hit because people with balconies between ours also got their dose. well, immediately called management and took these pics. we were extremely upset and refused to touch the mess until the complex had documentation as well. well, at around 1am another neighbor stood on his trashed balcony and cussed her for all she was worth for a full 10 minutes. in a way i was kinda happy that we weren't the only ones with that sentiment. well, the complex cleaned it up (not to my satisfaction) two days later. [update= the neighbor recently struck again this time the nasty dummy, threw out a pizza box with her name, address, and phone number. i've documented and sent to the complex manager and she is out of there].

in the mean time, my sister's flight was cancelled, due to the unexpected flurries and wind. so when she did arrive, so gent had to work. so i was between baltimore and DC more than i would have ever liked. because we only have one car we attended the rest of the event he was working. we didn't make it home until 4pm-- her plane arrived at 1pm.

despite being off to a busy start, she rested well - with my very precocious stormy by her side every single night. my baby just loves people and will stick to you like glue. the one thing my little baby helped out with is confirming her mild dog allergies.

she also got to witness my sisterlock-addiction. i stopped people and people stopped me many times we were out. plus i tried to get her to think about SLs, but she is enjoying her afro. she did get her hair braided for a very reasonable price and i think she liked them a lot.

what fun things did we do.... well, we went shopping a couple of times and she tried on some cute clothes. of course, she did not really like anything i picked out, but one day she'll come around. we also went to a very popular club (not to worry, it was 18+). we got in free and met interesting folks (including spotting redman) in the hour-wait in line. we danced and chilled. but by midnight i was tired and had to attend conference sessions the next morning. so we called it a night. while i was there i noticed a lot of different fashion "trends" (including the worship of beyonce's lyrics), but that is a whole other post.

we went to the movies to see the movie pride. i highly recommend this movie. it speaks to a lot of different issues i think would benefit many young people today. come to think of it, there is a message for older generations in it too. coming from a very strong swimming background, we enjoyed the movie a lot. it really made me remember the days of being one of the very few competitive swimmers at the meets in L.A. (this is in the 80's & 90's-though i doubt it has changed very much).

the best time we had was exploring DC. we went to the a lot of museums and sites. we went to the museum of european art, african art, eastern art, native americans, the washington monument, the veterans' memorial, the white house, and the lincoln memorial. we went everywhere! we didn't realize there was so much walking in-between the sites, and we didn't like that very much. but still there was fun and learning to be had. the best cure for unexpected workouts is silliness...and we had a lot to go around. my little sister is a whiz with a camera and she took some amazing shots. we learned a lot and laughed the whole time (okay not the whole time, climbing those hills takes your breath away).

after a full 8 hours of seeing the sites and walking, we had to stop by the nail shop for mani-pedi's. that was good fun. we both got bold colors (sorry no pic, we were pooped by then) and laughed. she also got her eyebrows waxed for the first time. i thought they looked great. And surprisingly she thought so too.

i still feel like i need a break, but boy was it fun!

BTW- thanks sunsail for the info. we were gone so long, we didn't have a chance to see your reference. but i will try to go to her tom. (i haven't touched my brows in about 2 weeks).

i can't "make it rain"...

2007-03-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, now I am officially nervous about finding a new consultant. I have been re-tightening my own hair for about 7 months months now and I know that the time has come to see a consultant. After reading about Sunsail's experience and asking around about pricing, I a mortified. I will admit that Brunsli's experience of finding a new consultant put me a little at ease. But still, I just don't know really which way to go.

My biggest issue is........MONEY (aka cash aka cheese aka skrilla aka dough etc) which really shouldn't be because "I should have known what I was getting into" when I first got SLs). When I got mine installed, I was truly blessed to find a great woman who did them for a severe discount because she needed one more qualifying head. And trust me, her lack of experience was not a factor in quality nor attention-to-detail. Plus, the price of the re-tightenings was absolutely great!!!! Now that I have moved...... I am BAFFLED by the prices that I've been quoted ($25/hr, $30/hr, etc). Hell, I don't even make that much working my job. Do you know how much it would cost to do my whole head???? Hmm, I don't even really know the answer to that question because one person has NEVER done my head. In B'ham, it would take my beloved consultant about 5 hours to complete my whole head BUT that was with her partner (her very lively and sweet mother who is also certified). So 2 people working on my head simultaneously without any breaks and still if they charged what is being charged up here I would be flat broke. Imagine ONLY 1 person in my head....... (((((sigh))))). What am I to do? I just refuse to pay more money to get my hair re-tightened than I paid to get them installed. This is the only thing about SLs that makes me want to go crazy. I absolutely love doing my own hair but that has its pros and cons:

Pros-
1. Way less $
2. Sense of Autonomy
3. Liability

Cons-
1. Uncertainty about mess-ups
2. If lock comes loose, I am stuck
3. TOO MUCH TIME!!!!
4. As a result of #3, aching arms

Well, I think I've been doing okay, but I need someone to do a routine check. I guess it's a lot like one's physical health. You may exercise and eat right, but every so often you go to the doc for a check-up. I figure these check ups would come in the form of getting a re-tightening from a pro. But what is a grad student to do? I would hate to go to class/conferences/part-time job/interviews looking like "what the hell?".

I know there are people (probably most consultants) out there saying that you do a lot of labor so the charge is justified. I (as a retired hair braider) understand, but come on. Not everyone is "ballin" like that. I was thinking about comments that were made about the women who have SLs being "well-educated" and the like. I am beginning to think that those that can afford to get them and subsequently keep them up MUST have serious education which would explain income. There seems to be a certain income "limitation" to getting SLs. Sometimes I feel like I have a yacht or Bentley on top of my head. If people are criticized for buying things they can't afford, maybe I am guilty of that too. It's kinda like buying a huge house, but not being able to afford to keep the utilities on!

Despite these nerves, I still cannot imagine myself without SLs because I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!! I am sure there will come a day when I will be able to routinely get them checked out with out the contemplation of paying all my monthly utilities or getting my hair re-tightened (after I get my degree, of course). Now, I don't want anyone feeling sorry or trying to start a donation fund for me. Fortunately, I have a very dear significant other (Sogent, for any new comers to my blog) that loves to take care of me and has a great career with an excellent company. But despite his essential help, I like to handle many things on my own, especially those concerning my grooming.

I guess this rant can also serve as a warning to those considering getting SLs to be prepared for the prices. Yet, I still have questions:

1. Are there people who could simply give you a check-up (or "consultation") that wouldn't be too costly?

2. Does anyone (in the DC or Baltimore area) offer student discounts?

3. Am I completely unreasonable for money to be a justified concern?

my big sis is doing the dang thang...

2007-02-21T20:26:00.000-08:00

I just had to big up to my sister. She is just launching her new book "Bits and Pieces of My Truth" and she got her new pics in. I absolutely love her hair. This is her second set of locks and I just absolutely love them. She has started both sets from a TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro). She has had this set of locks for about 5 years (I think). Every time we get a chance to meet up, I always am impressed by how mature they get. She uses natural/organic things in and out! She is a vegetarian and is faithful to the herbs, I think that may have a part in her hair looking so radiant.

She is my first inspiration for locking. I remember one day she came home for either winter or summer break from undergrad and had a TWA. That was very surprising for the family, especially for me because growing up in Los Angeles hair was an "issue". I observed early on that if you did not have wavy or "soft" textured hair (usually by way of being "mixed"), you best have long hair (of course through the various straightening methods). So when I saw her so confident and so beautiful and so natural, I was in immediate infatuation with natural hair. Don't get me wrong, no one in my family had a perm, but still getting one's hair pressed was the ritual about every other week. It was almost like a rite of passage to sit in that chair in the kitchen with the wooden spoon covering your ear so it did not get burned. Anyway, her short hair was quite nice and we did not know that she would eventually lock. By the time she graduated, she was locked and looking good. She is a very skilled African dancer/instructor (of various pan African regions). So I used to help tape her performances and her locks would fly all about which accentuated her very powerful moves (to this day she is the BOMB). Many folks say that me and her favor, so to see her in such a beautiful light was like me looking into what I could grow up to be. (So I guess it is safe to say that I would desperately try to be like her little protege.) Anyways, one summer, she traveled to various parts of Africa (from the southern countries to the northwest). When she came back, she had a very low fade. We were all shocked! As you can probably tell, she can grow a great pair of locks (the thick hair runs in the family). So everyone was floored as to why she cut them. To make a long story short, she did so for spiritual/personal reasons. To which I give her much respect for honoring. She is very talented at writing and poetry and is in a post baccalaureate program as well. She inspires me everyday to strive to not be afraid to love and to carry out my destiny. If you wanna know more about her her is her visit: http://www.kaiashivers.com/ (older page) or http://www.myspace.com/kaianiambishivers (recent page).

**Oh yeah, if you want a copy of the book, email a request at bitsandpiecesofmytruth@yahoo.com. She is doing a book tour and will be heading to New York, Philadelphia, Washington, DC, and even Montreal in the coming months.

caruso crazy!!!!

2007-02-19T08:13:00.000-08:00

okay, i took your advice Brunsli (thanks for offering the share, i got it on sale on amazon.com for $28 including shipping), Tra (thanks for the advice), Brenda (i finally threw out those gold rollers), and Blaqkofi (thanks for all the photos). i tried the carusos and i absolutely LOVE them! i will admit that i was skeptical at first because steam and my hair usually resulted in a big ole fro or poofiness, but i gave it a shot and i absolutely love the result (so does my sogent)!

because valentine's day fell on a wednesday (and i have been bombarded with school and work), we decided to go out and celebrate on the weekend. my coworker invited us to an african/caribbean club on friday night, so we decided to go there. i had little time to get ready so i decided to put those carusos (large/medium in the front, jumbo in the back) and KA-PI-YOW! With just a few fingered-combs, I had a Blaqkofi moment: I went "from plain to daaang". I was shocked that my hair would turn out like this. So once my makeup was set, I stepped out of the bathroom and my Sogent almost smeared my entire get up with kisses. needless to say, he loooved it more than i thought i did. when we arrived at the club, we were only 2 of the few people there. my coworker was working as a waitress there part-time (i greatly respect her hustle), so we decided to stay and buy drinks from her. it turned out to be great, however! we had a whole club/dj to ourselves. we hadn't been dancing in a while, and we remembered how very popular clubs have huge crowds and/or the music is not bumpin'. so we capitalized on the space and good music. we had a table on the stage and yes, i did show out! we danced all night! we didn't care who else was watching or in the room, we danced fast, we danced slow, and we had some fun! he couldn't take his eyes off of me and i just loved it!

the next night we planned on going to a mardi gras party, so i got dressed up again (notice i am wearing the mardi gras colors: purple, green, and gold) and threw some more carusos in and WAHLAAA! i was transformed again. well, this time we got out kinda late and as we were following the directions printed off the net, we realized we were heading to adams-morgan. for those who are not familiar with this area, adams-morgan is the club-congested area where traffic is bad and everyone (of varying ages/ethnicities) is there to par-tay. now we wanted to have a good time, but we did not want to be in traffic and hunt down a parking space. so we decided to bypass the club and get a jumbo slice of pizza. so i am happy as a lark with pizza grease all over my fingers, and on our way home we passed another club we had heard about. since there was a parking space nearby, we stopped and went in. this club was crowded and hot, but we got right on the dance floor between all the bodies and belted out all the old school reggae jams and latest rap songs. i got many approving looks from the men (Sogent was basking in the attention as well) and even a compliment from a natural sista. i was having a good time. after my 2nd drink (i have become a light-weight drinker since leaving undergrad), i was ready to go home and so was he. my hair was still looking good, but it was time to call it a night. by morning my lovely hairstyle still had a slight curl.

i know i've been on a rant about my gentleman lately, but he is the best man i have ever had the pleasure to know. since meeting him i feel like it's valentine's day every other day. no matter how my hair looks he is quick to give me a compliment. i could be wearing beat up tennis shoes and over-sized sweats and he still feels inclined to open up every single door for me. i had a great time this weekend and it was great that the carusos added to me feeling so darn good about myself. i must admit that the first time i've worn a full head of curlers was when i first got sisterlocks. i love the carusos and will be using them more often in the future. thanks to all the SL bloggers that recommended carusos and posted pics of their results!

a nappy head black creole gal...

2007-02-13T01:01:00.000-08:00

Okay I probably shouldn't be blogging because I am preparing for 2 presentations and a Statistics test this week. I already know I will not get much sleep (hence the 4 am hour and I am preparing my materials). Gosh, I need to get over this procrastination thing! Anyway, I wrote some of the following piece not long ago, which was sparked by Creyole's posts about her Creole heritage. I also have Creole background haven't spoke much about it. With the Mardi Gras & Lent around the corner, I guess now would be a good time:

My maternal side is from Lafayette, LA & my paternal side is from Mississippi. We don’t know very much about my paternal side, as I am meeting new cousins year by year. So, I have had most extended familial contact with my maternal side. I definitely have Creole heritage running all through me: from the tasty praline I learned to make as a girl (and can still whip up just as tasty) to hearing the word “cher” (pronounced “sheh”in Creole) sprinkled throughout conversations. One of the earliest events I remember is visiting a really old woman who was my great-great something and she did not speak any English! That was so amazing to me: how could one be born and raised in the US (and be basically Black) and never spoke English. It wasn’t until I was older and she had died that I realized that she just chose not to, though she understood English. In older age she had simply chose Creole(and she had certainly earned that right at 100+ years of living) . Around this time, I developed my Francophilic ways.

For a long time didn’t realize that I could consider myself Creole until I visited my Aunt who had little trinkets in her house (and on her car license plate) expressing our heritage (dolls & figurines & even her licence plate). I also was duped into believing that I had no right to refer to myself or my maternal side as Creole because there is hardly any light-skinned people in the family and the surname is not overwhelmingly French (Creyole talks about this at length in her post).

I identify as Black American, which is the lovliest "culture" in the world to me (maybe in-group bias, lol?). There is indeed much negative perception associated with being Black American, as discussed in Creyole’s post and following comments. One of my most poignant memories occurred during my Freshman year in college. There was this guy from the East Coast who was adorned in African-symbol tattoos all over his body. I was one of the 3 (maybe less?) lifeguards and he and his friends would visit and we would discuss culture and such. One of the last days I spoke with him, he mentioned that he loooved Black women BUT he wanted to marry an exotic woman. He then went on to give me examples of what “Exotic Women” were : “Brazilian, Dominican, Puerto Rican - you know black but with wavy hair”. Incredulously, I stared at him and asked if he was serious. He was and I will admit to sharply telling him off. He himself had "nappy" hair and I was stunned that he would say such a thing (I guess he was only telling the truth, now that I think of it). I wondered how his mom looked? As for the exotic thing, I asked him what was more "exotic" than Black American women? Hell, most of us are down right mystical not knowing entirely what the blood we have running through our veins. We come in all different shapes, colors, and (dare I say) hair textures.

Another defining moment was right after before I got my sisterlocks, a drunk white man (one of the area's finest doctors) used to stay at the hotel I worked almost every week. He would get ignorant-drunk every stay and would love to talk. So late one night (as he escorted his escort to her pimp) he stumbled his way to the front desk and said that I was the prettiest lil nappy head gal he had ever seen. Now, my dad has called my a lil nappy head Mississippi gal since I fell in love with his home state and I've always loved the way he said it. Hell, I've even been called colored and it didn't effect me as much. But to hear it from "doc" when his inhibitions were low, I remembered that no matter how fine a black woman could be, she will always be Black first in the eyes of many. So, as much as many may look at being called a nappy head gal offensive, that added fuel to the fire of me being even more proud to wear this crown of naps on my head.

Because of incidences like these and my parents Black and Proud teachings, I deliberately love to say I am Black! As much as people try to throw around labels to demean having an ethnicity other than white in you, we have turned their negative in a positive culture. How is it that from us comes world motivation through: our history of uprising, our music (soul and hip hop), and our perseverance. We compose only 13% of the U.S. yet, we exact change worldwide.

This is a topic that is very dear to me and thanks to those SL bloggers who have openly discussed their heritage, I am able to do so more comfortably. I am so proud to be part of such a great network of an ethnic variety of Black women.

Enjoy Mardi Gras and the rest of Black History Month Everyone! Laissaz le, bon temps rouler! Time for some Zydeco, "Don't mess with my tou tou. You can find another woman, but don't mess with my tou tou. Fais Pas Ca!"

Pictures in order of appearance:
1. Cousin, Sis, Cousin, Me at Mardi Gras in Lafayette & St. Martinville, LA the next day, 1998
2. Me and Cousin, 1997
3. Me dressed in one of my big sis' fly dresses, 2001
4. Me (the black came out just like that accidentally b/c camera was broken, how cool), 2007
5. Parade at Carabana in Toronto, 2002
** No pics from Mardi Gras in New Orleans, I had way too much fun back then**

warning: this is a long post...

2007-02-05T06:38:00.000-08:00

okay there is so much to talk about, let me try to put things in order.

is it just me or does the new blogger induce more headaches than what it's worth? i've been having trouble posting comments and posts, but i think i've finally figured it out.

on another note, i just wated to say thanks to everyone for the previous comments. after everyone mentioned them, i immediately ordered the carusos (they were on sale on amazon and i was able to get the set under $30- including shipping from amazon)! i am so anxious to try them out, but these soft spiked curls have longevity (thanks for the heads up tra)! pictures: left- 1st day, right- 6th day. i tried them as soon as they came in the mail, and sogent loved the curly look so much he asked for me to do them for the alvin ailey performance.

<--- at work with the SS un-combed

final product---->

the AAADT experience:

because we got tickets for a weekday (thursday), we had to rush to get to the performance. i didn't get home until 1 hour before the show so i had to rush EVERYTHING. i was held up a bit because i had to get stockings/pantyhose. now, this is the first time in many years that i've worn hose and shopping for the right pair was so confusing. target has a really good selection, so i just grabbed a pair and ran home. to my surprise, they felt great! they did their best to keep me warm, and they weren't as uncomfortable as i thought they'd be. the weirdest thing is that they did not tear at all through my hasty preparation. even with my haste, we were late :( we missed the first movement "nightcrawlers", but we vowed that one day we'd go back to see it (on a day we didn't have to rush). the other movements were beautiful! i grew up watching (and mimicking part time) my older sister teach and perform African dance. so i was able to recognize those elements and even attempt to guess the region and/or story behind the movement. it was great to see african dance infused with an ole school jazz flavor. the only thing that was kinda crazy about the night was that i commented to sogent about one of the dancers that stood out to me. she was long, elegant, and could moooove in ways that i would only attempt under the direction of god almighty. then is when he told me that he actually knew and dated the girl for a short spell back in the day! now he had mentioned that he dated a girl that had danced in AAADT, but i thought she wasn't performing anymore. i thought he was playing because i liked her, but he was serious (believe me, i tested him because he is a notorious trickster). is it crazy that i was just a tiny bit insecure about my looks after that? well, he took notice and for the rest of the evening he complimented me and made me feel special. we had drinks during intermission and he stayed by my side the whole time. at random moments he would gaze into my eyes and give me a look that reassured his love for (and attraction to) me! you just gotta love a man that know how to be charming at the perfect times! well, the night turned out great, even though we didn't stay out too late (we both had to be up bright and early for work the next morning).

i've been tagged by brenda!!! so here goes:

1. my dog sleeps in the bed with me virtually every night. she is very well-behaved and does not shed hair (she's a toy poodle). everyone thinks i spoil her, however i keep her very disciplined resulting in less accidents on the carpet and torn up paper. she knows the basic commands and is very sweet, however, she is TOO nice. she will go up to ANYONE and try to play. that scares me because she actually jumped in a neighbor's car (in AL) without any hesitation. she may have thought we were riding with her because i was speaking to her while she was getting in her car, but still that made me wonder if she maybe thought life with me is that bad. i think she just gets excited to even go outside because me and sogent are always in and out of the house. i really am thinking of getting another dog for her to play with, but i am unsure how comfortable she would be.

2. in the 1st or 2nd grade, i dressed up as a "prostitute" for Halloween. i didn't know what a prostitute was (i had just heard that word) , but i think that was around the time "pretty woman" came out. so seeing julia roberts in the high heels, short skirt, and lip stick i thought she was just a grown up woman. so i threw on my mom's lipstick (i snuck it out), my little plastic shoes with maybe a 2 inch clunky heel, and my red-black hound's tooth mini skirt, i thought i was a sexy lady. my mom didn't know what i was going for until the after school care told her what i had said. needless to say, i was disciplined that night, though not too harshly because my mom realized that i didn't know what the hell i was talking about.

3. i love guns, tattoos, and piercings! the first time i shot one (in the range, of course) i was hooked. too bad there are no gun shows up here, but there is the nra hq! i love how tattoos allows people express themselves through it. and as for the piercings, i think that's just a little of my masochistic side unveiling itself. they look great and feel wonderful. and that is all i'm gonna say about those things.

4. i started going to clubs (21+) at age 16. one of the benefits of having older sisters that basically look alike is that using their i.d.'s to get into 21+ clubs. we all enjoy reggae and who better to party with than your sisters! at any given night it would be 3 of the same person in the club. this picture on the left is my and my big sis. we are the only two in the family with locks.

5. i love the water but hate showers. Since i was a little girl, i've been fascinated with the water. plus, growing up near the beach (los angeles), it was like second nature to try to jump in the waves when my father would take us to the beach. every single summer, me and my siblings swam at the community pool and i loved it! later on, i became a lifeguard (just like all my older siblings) and would consider it one of the best jobs i've ever had. while i love to pretend i am the little mermaid in bathtub (which sitting down in the tub is infrequent for me), i can't stand to take a long shower. i could hear my father's voice from when i was younger bellowing from outside of our house bathroom or pool locker room "Girls, you have 2 minutes and 2 seconds to shower!". with 8 of us living in a 3 bed/1bath house plus cali was going through a drought for a while (i was one of captain planet's loyal planeteers) , we had to coordinate a schedule to shower. and lord help us if my father gets in the shower with no hot water! so i have mastered the art of the 5 minute shower. so it takes me virtually no time to get ready in the morning.i get irritated if i must shave my legs or wash my hair because it takes too long. plus i hate going from the cozy warm to the extreme cold. when i lived in JA, the house i stayed in had no hot water. i think the family was shocked at how well i adjusted. they just didn't know i mastered washing quickly. maybe when i get a great, luxurious bathroom, i'll enjoy it more.

**bonus**
6. all my siblings and i left california to attend hbcu's (historically black colleges and universities). you know the rivalry is crazy in our household during football season.

brother- tuskeegee & southern univ.
sister- alcorn state univ
sister- florida a&m univ & clark atlanta univ.
sister- southern univ
me- jackson state univ & howard univ.
sister- texas southern univ.

even my mom and dad went to a hbcu:
mom & dad- southern univ.

i know this was a long one. but i felt like there was so much to say. okay, i'm gonna tag:
sunsail, nappytexangirl, and veta

my 1st snow and my 1st year of sisterlocks...

2007-01-29T19:30:00.000-08:00

for all y'all wondering: i survived my first experience of snow. i liked it more than i thought. it was cold, but not as cold as some of the other days. because there is a big hill and grassy area right in front of my apartment, that made for a great snow war (hence my baggy attire complete with my deep red timbs). SoGent, Stormy, and me had a fun filled snow day. people said that we only got 1" of snow, but it seemed like way more in my neck of the woods. i was just in awe at how everything seemed sooo pristine. surprisingly, we stayed outside and slipped and slid around with the neighbors and their dog. in the end, we enjoyed ourselves and made up!

okay, back to hair biz...

my 1 year anniversary cme and went. i'd been waiting so long to say that i been locked for a year, and when it came, i forgot. i'm not mad with myself, i think i am trying to exercise this patience thing. but i will note the difference in the look from month 1 (left) to month 12 (right). my end have locked a little more and my locks have thickened (thank goodness). i have a little more length, which is great, but kinda a bummer because to me it is harder to style. gone are the days when i had a cute little bob freestyle. i have been experimenting with the different styles, but have not felt comfortable with any. so my odd little freestyle has been dominating. i have also been curling my hair, but because it comes out a little 1950's i through a band around it. pros: easy and cute; cons: i look like i'm 15 years old. my sogent likes it, so i guess it'll do until... my SOFT SPIKES come in the mail. that was one of my birthday gifts from guy! so i've been checking the mail like crazy awaiting their arrival.

speaking of birthday gifts...
i had a day of ups and downs. another gift was the hottest pair of black leather boots, but the fit was off. so i had to take them back (one tear drops). also my favorite male singer, bilal, was performing in a rare appearance here in DC and the tickets were sold out before we could get them. HOWEVER, the day was not totally lost. we got up early and we spent the day riding the metro to the kennedy center to go and get FREE tickets to the National Symphonic Orchestraand tickets to the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre! Though the AAADT free tickets were sold out, he footed the bill for excellent seats on a better day! I am so excited! I have never been to events like these (with a few exceptions of high school operas, local b'ham symphonies, and high school musicals) and i am so elated to have this experience (especially with with my honey)! part of the excitement is from me getting a chance to dress up and enjoy a night out on the town. I will be sure to take lots of pics and update you on how everything went. until then, i need to figure out what to wear and (more importantly) what to do with my hair????